An open letter to our VC

We always have an open email ,blog and social media where we receive articles .This particular one caught my eye and well,I hope it speaks for the majority.

"We students of Moi university are a wailing lot. We appreciate the platform and all opportunities that come with being in one of the greatest universities in the country .There are issues that have been raised over time and I believe that if we can not get what we want,we at least deserve an explanation .

 The entire floor which holds the studio together with the computer laboratory is in total darkness. There are lessons that depend on audio visual for illustration.I believe this is something that should be handled soonest,it has been three weeks.It is impossible  to practice if our computes are gathering dust in the labs.Most of them are not connected to the internet and you have to incur an extra cost .For a student, every penny is dear .Those who pursue media related course need the studio .We are told that practice makes perfect,but what use is practice if our institution doesn't let us.KTS,the television station has not been operational in a while,we hope you can save MU.FM.

We embraced the online classes since the introduction of blended learning.However, our WI-Fi disappoints us more times than we can count.Uninterrupted connectivity is one thing that makes this classes a success. It is an issue that needs addressing and we would very much appreciate if action was taken. 

Most comrades  are  residing in the stage area of the school. If so, then what purpose are the halls of residence serving? Because of this, most if not all landlords are now increasing house rents as dictated by the laws of demand and supply. Is the university happy with this? This entire shift is brought about by the university’s adamant nature of not heeding to the cries of students. A tour around the hostels will affirm to you this. You will note sadly that most of those rooms have not been occupied.bNo student desires to stay in the hostels, yet they are not allowed to prepare meals, even if they are willing to purchases their own sources of preparing food.  Well,maybe that was in our green book of school rules as illegal. But I believe an alternative would be great in this case. Our hostel tuck shops were a life saver .Even after banning cooking,I believe we should have snacks and quick drinks in this shops.

The cafeteria could be offering meals,but at the end if the day,we will seek value for our money.Good and clean food is important to us as students .The same cafeterias do not have cashless transaction or M-pesa.I think it's one area the school should work on especially now with the COVID 19 pandemic. M-pesa is also convenient for students. If say you have a balance of thirty shilling ,you can not make a withdrawal.

Last but not least,we deserve a memo explaining why we can no longer seek treatment at our school dispensary. Communication is an important aspect in any relationship. We the students are your clients,it is only fair that we are aware when everything affects us.

The pen at all days is mightier than the sword. As I jot down my last statements in this piece, it is my genuine hope that the issues raised in this piece and so many other issues affecting the well being of comrades will be addressed.

Let this not be a case of long arguments with our student councils, which often leads to false promises. 

Five Types of Classmates in a Lecture.

By Kileta Thomas.

One of the hallmarks of being in any learning institution is attending lectures. The rush and routine keeps you going and prevents you from loosing your sanity.While it is important to remain open minded about friendship and acquaintances you meet in the corridors of intellects,keep out an eye for this types of people:

The class clown. 

They are loud and have a flair for the dramatic. More like a teenager in love or better still, a low budget Eric Omondi. Quick to crack dry jokes. When the Lecturer gives a humoured joke for comic relief, they extend it spoiling all the fun.  They have  this frolicking, pissing laugh that overrides all other chuckles. In a bid to make small play they ask nonsensical questions. The “Girls love funny guys” statement has gotten to their head.And vice-versa.  They  are cocky in nature. They are however handy when it comes to telling  the Lecturer off when they extend.  This is despite the fact that they can not repeat anything the lecturer taught because they were not listening.

The “drip” obsessed (models)

They dress with pomp and gaiety as if they are headed to a Gala. They are strict adherents of how you dress affects the way your brain will grasp the day’s lecture content. The girls will be looking like models on a runway and some even go an extent of adorning those skimpy dresses that leave  guys all smitten. The boys notwithstanding also clamor to leave an impression and you wouldn’t be surprised on a Friday to see a comrade sporting Some fleek Jordan shoes and matching jacket, trousers denims. Talk of standards, you might walk to a lecture and think it’s a set for a Tv Recording. 

The Love's in the air Duo

They just smell of chocolate. Everyone has a caught a whiff of their simmering love. They troop to a class in a pair as if it’s Noah’s Ark. They  seat next to each other all through the lecture, all giggles and the only thing they leave the lecture with is each other. Their public out show of affection is rather annoying.  All other Lecture mates are stifling "mtaachana tu” phrase in full knowledge that premium tears are just welling up. 

 Book Worms.

They give a flitting care about paying keen to what the heck the Lecturer would be teaching about. Infact,they read ahead and are very invested in the class.

They are hell-bent on comprehending the Content being Lectured about. They claim their eyes are set on “first class” prize. Their hands are usually shot up to inquire about a question especially when everyone else is so tired and raring for the lesson to end.  They are so stern when your are put in groups with them. They are somehow related to Margaret Thatcher as they are always paying her homage. 

 Latecomers and Don’t Care Clique. 

They heck walk into a lecture way past time. They don’t give much thought about how they dress and what is being taught. Theirs is just to mark the attendance sheet. 

MY DRESS....

 By IVY CHEPCHUMBA.

One of the biggest superficial reason people fantasize about university is the freedom it comes with. Dress code particularly comes to mind. It turns out,descent dressing means a whole lot of different things to different people. Therefore, it doesn't come as a surprise when the school administrators have to keep reminding all students dress appropriately during lecture hours .

"Dress how you want to be addressed " 

For some,dressing is about trends,others,convenience and for most,comfort .In my honest opinion it is wise to consider your surrounding ,environment and the people in the setting .It is termed disrespectful to wear a Saturday night out with your girls  outfit to a business meeting .We all have heard about the "my dress my choice code " The setting of the phrase has been manipulated over time to fit in whatever trend is in the Internet.

I agree,we are all adults and the last thing we need is adult supervision especially with our dressing. But in all honesty, I don't think you are honest with yourself if you're wearing something that would make your father go crazy if you bumped into each other on the streets. No one likes to be confronted about their clothes .Thus, keep one thing in mind,if you can walk around feeling comfortable and confident to meet your father's age mates,you're good to go.

Some cultures and lifestyles are identified by dressing. Our Muslim sisters and brothers have a particular attire that is deemed appropriate. Some have stuck to the old ways of tradition. Most however have been swept away by the bandwagon of modernity into the westernized fashion essence .Maybe out of culture shock ,peer pressure or just feeling the desire to do something that does not have a patent's handwriting all uphold over it. Ensure that your choice of dressing is influenced by who you are and not sheer rebellion against society 

According to the institutions rules we are expected to dress decently but that's not the issue at hand. You will find ladies wearing miniskirts and a see through top going for lecture sessions. I know some of them get really uncomfortable since at times the lecture classes may take up to two hours. Funny enough they still choose to dress like that and what's even more embarrassing is that most of the lecturers are aged above 60 years ,the ages of our fathers and grandfathers .What a shame!

Some gentlemen even go for classes with vests and shorts ,it's really disrespectful and some lecturers would at times not allow you to their classes. By dressing this ,you distract others and drawing unwarranted attention to yourself.

Only once in a while is when you will see them dressed appealing to .That's only during class presentations because most lecturers award marks during presentation classes. Most lecturers go to the extend of teaching us about proper dressing codes since after two years of study we are always given chances to go for attachments. As you know attachments need disciplined and decently dressed fellows as well as when you go for interviews.

Many thanks to mother nature for reminding us that we can still cover up the essentials and look beautiful .Dressing decently makes you feel comfortable around people of different ages as you have nothing to worry .Remember to be yourself. Don't be influenced.

The campus re-union

 

 By Chepchumba Mercy.

How would campus life  be at school without having a boyfriend or girlfriend lover to spend your weekend and free time with!I do recognise that relationships are more than that in the adult world. Well here in campus,we walk two by two flooding academic highways. Kissing ,caressing and public Display of affection is the order of the day around here .

In Moi university. Long holidays take six to eight months .One wonders how this relationships survive and thrive in absence of the physical touch and ravenous sex. When partners go out yo be interns or they complete school. These are transitions that put a strain on a relationship that thrives on nothing aside physical touch.

For instance the current second years in Moi University just came to school recently after staying home for about a year. Last year March during the Covid pandemic they were sent home ,they came back in November for one month just to do their examination and went back home again. They've come back to school on June ,Do you think their last year January's relationship still stands?

Absolutely no , over their long holiday probably they met new people to engage with forgetting their campus lovers. While at home , the chances of them chatting and phone calling their campus lovers is very low. Maybe they talked the first two weeks at home then their conversation end there since it's very hard to hold a long and impressive conversation between two lovers who are far from each other.

Coming back to school for the second years ment starting all over and getting into other relationships. They move on as if nothing happened forgetting the sacrifices they made in the previous relationship. Girls atmost are the ones who sacrifice their time to go to their lovers houses ,wash their clothes and even cook for them .At times they even go to the extend of lying to their parents for more money just to please their boyfriends but all goes in vain.What pains the most is missing classes just for a guy who will break up with you afterall .

 Campus relationships are fun  if you meet a person who sees your sacrifices and efforts in a relationship.

Pain demands to be felt.

All my life,I thought I needed a male  love interest,relationship or a partner to be happy. I did whatever I could to avoid being single.  That meant taking  a lot of of bad turns,made a lot of wrong choices and tried to love a lot of wrong people. All the time,I ended up with hurt feelings and broken heart. Call me crazy ,using the wrong dating patterns and expecting a different result 

I think I was somehow naïve and had a myopic mentality,I also can't tell why I trusted all men who came along saying that they loved me! My first days at campus seemed too nice .I had assured my heart that there should be no more pain since I knew I had got a soulmate,I even felt that I had found something much more precious. But damn! I did not get the memo on campus playboys .If I did ,I was blinded by seeking perfection from a man who wanted to taint mine .It is true,people destroy that which they do not understand.

He was handsome and I had a crush on him.It came without question that when he asked me out my teenage brain was welling with dopamine and my heart full of pride ,ready to call him mine .I gave in to all his demands .He was really fine and handsome,as per the appearance. His long sharp nose,fierce eyebrows were the Stark features of his face,his hair was thick and as black as raven's wig...my love,but never my lover

Having him beside me made me feel that the Almighty had already answered my prayers. I gave all of me to him, "the power of love" and all the trust was for him,,only to find that it was a monthly contract. Well,at least my periods are consistent.

He then started behaving wierd and that's when my eyes opened and I started realising that my time was over..he had not gone any lose since he had done what he intended to do.I never thought of my wildest dreams that stuff like betrayal and heartbreak were to happen to me again.

All the decisions to try to turn frogs into fairy tales had left my heart in pieces and my soul empty.The pain was even unbearable to me.

"But maybe I made it too easy", "maybe he took me for granted," all these rampant thoughts were killing me bit by bit.I was too much devoted to him such that I never cared about the world around me as he was my whole world...But I know I'm a witty and pretty girl and there are many guys who always run after me,but I'll never budge an inch.I don't think if I'll ever entertain anyone leave alone these campus guys with their hair twisted to dreads and their colourful sweatpants.

I have been submerging myself into relationships and never have I faced those truths .Trying to chase for love and looking for someone to love me the way I want has not yet worked for me.

I'll have to take back my magic and rediscover the person I had lost along the way .I just think that pain demands to be felt.

My Museo.

       

Find your Eureka moment.

Money is everything,or so the modern saying goes . We live in a country where those with money seek out to employ their equals in the wealth basket.Others have mastered money. If one plays naive, then they soon find themselves in an unending cycle of desperation.The old-fashioned belief that people go to school to get good jobs and earn descent salary must be shaken off. It didn't work even to many of our grandparents and parents. Sometimes, we ask too much of education and end up not learning.

The purpose of education is not to get you a good job. It's to enlighten you and in the process, you may get a job if you wish so. Let education pass through you and not you, pass through education. Be a leader among the leaders and an elite among the elites.

It always haunts me whenever l bump on literate stories lively and on social media complaining and laying blame to the government for not giving them jobs even after scoring high in universities. But just to ask, why only university graduates are the ones who always blame the government for being jobless?

At times, some were forced by their parents to pursue the course(s) they didn't love and others, Kenya Universities and Colleges Central  Placement Service (KUCCPS) gave them the courses they didn't desire and the strive to do inter course transfer after admission failed. So as the case, they just accepted half-heartedly to pursue the course.

Otherwise, that aside; what about those who pursuit their dream course and now complaining of unemployment? More so, what about those who didn't reach college, university or even high school? Whom are they supposed to blame? Youths; it's a time we stop blaming our government for leading us a stray and create job opportunities for ourselves.

I've met 1st class honours indulging in businesses and  farming . I've seen many who even did not go to college or university employing degree holders. Personally, l was once employed by a class 7 drop out to run his business with a meager salary less than 7,000ksh. But was l supposed to complain? Normalize the habit of making yourself a brand other than complaining.

After college or campus, always keep in mind that, there's another life waiting for you out and it will not be dealing about lectures or tuitorials. It will be about you. Your parent or guardian won't be paying your rent or providing food for you. It will be just you. If you complain of being jobless after school, think about those school drop outs because of lacking fees.

Never miss out on opportunities because you were too scared to take action .When companies in your area of interest are hiring or looking for interns, it is important to send your application always. Paid or voluntary, it is a good platform to learn and practice beyond the classroom walls.

It's so painful to see a graduate with nice academic papers without skills. Currently, most companies with skilled HR's look for skills. Do you have skills to disapprove the recruitment panel that you are worthy for the job? Or just your academic qualifications? Even though the academic papers at most helps, have skills.

To those who are still schooling, of cardinal importance is getting rid of all the myths and find the truth about what it is you are pursuing in school. Whether or not you want to be employed should be a choice and not sheer circumstances out of desperation. This  creates an unending circle of self loath and poor mental health state.Graduate or not,find your Eureka moment .

Editorial.

 

Good morning readers and legacy members. Those who keep reading what we write support us in our journey to be journalists, writers and content creators. Those who recognise that journalism is changing embrace the changes. This is for those who push us to embrace these new dynamics in the industry and find our niches.

Today marks the beginning of our editions. We are excited to hear your views, critics and general feedback. We welcome anyone looking for a family of like-minded people to join our club and be part of something that pushes them out of their comfort zone every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. These are the days we hold our editorials for wall publications, and on Wednesday, we take stock via meetings.

We are not without flaws; we take the Legacy media as a chance to learn and seek perfection. We welcome all new members, and we will grow and support each other.

Our finalists leave us in a short while. I thought that I would have gotten used to saying goodbye by the third year. But it never gets any easier. Much gratitude to our outgoing chairperson, Brenda Omondi (mimiBree). You are a true leader in your capacity and an inspiration to everyone on the campus. Between us, girls, fly as high as you'd wing can take you. I will not mention you by name, but your roles will always be significant.

To the team that we remain together, I hope we journey together and, in the end, make a legacy. This stopped being an editorial long ago and became a speech.

Mseto wa Habari

Kwaheri Rais Pombe Magufuli

Rais wa Jumuiya ya Tanzania Daktari John Pombe Magufuli ameaga dunia. Akitoa tangazo la kufariki kwa kiongozi huo kupitia stesheni ya TBC, Naibu Rais Samia Suluhu ameelezea kuwa Rais huyo wa awamu ya tano ameaga kutokana na ugonjwa wa moyo, katika hospitali ya Jakaya Kikwete iliyopo nchini humo. Viongozi mbalimbali wakiongozwa na mwenyekiti wa muungano wa muungano ya Jumuiya ya Afrika Mashariki Rais Uhuru Kenyatta, wameendelea kutia rambirambi zao kwa familia, ndugu, jamaa, marafiki na Watanzania kwa ujumla kwa kumpoteza kiongozi huyo. Magufuli, ameaga akiwa na umri was miaka 61. Amemwacha mjane Janeth Magufuli pamoja na watoto.

Kwaheri Rais Pombe Magufuli

Rais wa Jumuiya ya Tanzania Daktari John Pombe Magufuli ameaga dunia. Akitoa tangazo la kufariki kwa kiongozi huo kupitia stesheni ya TBC, Naibu Rais Samia Suluhu ameelezea kuwa Rais huyo wa awamu ya tano ameaga kutokana na ugonjwa wa moyo, katika hospitali ya Jakaya Kikwete iliyopo nchini humo. Viongozi mbalimbali wakiongozwa na mwenyekiti wa muungano

Uchaguzi mdogo wafanyika Machakos

Wananchi kutoka kaunti ya Machakos, wameelekea debeni kumchagua seneta wao mpya, baada ya kifo cha aliyekuwa seneta was kaunti hiyo Boniface Kabaka mapema mwakani. Ushindani mkali unatarajiwa Kati ya Agnes Kavindu ambaye anagombea kupitia kiti Cha Wiper, na Kengele anayewania kupitia chama cha UDA. 

Magoha atahadharisha watahiniwa wa mitihani ya KCPE na KCSE.

Waziri wa elimu George Magoha, ameelezea taifa kuwa wizara hiyo iko tayari kuwatahini wanafunzi wa mwaka wa 2020 katika darasa la nane na kidato cha nne. Magoha, aliwahikikishia wanafunzi hao kuwa serikali inawatakia kila la kheri, na kuwa mitihani ilitayarishwa kwa kuzingatia hali kuwa wanafunzi kote nchini wamekua nyumbani kwa miezi tisa. Magoha amewaonya watahiniwa dhidi ya kutumia barakoa kuendeleza wizi was mtihani, kwani watapatikana na hatua kali kuchukuliwa dhidi yao. Amewataka wasimamizi was mitihani kuchunguza barakoa za wanafunzi,kabla ya kuanza kwa mitihani yote.

Mwili wa Jeniffer Wambua wapatikana msitu Ngong. 

Mwili wa Jeniffer Wambua, aliyekua Naibu msimamizi katika idara ya ardhi umepatikana katika msitu was Ngong mapema wiki hii, baada ya kupotea kwa Jennifer wiki iliyopita. Upasuaji was mwili uliofanywa na mpasuaji wa serikali  Johannsen Oduor, ulidhihirisha kuwa Jennifer aliaga baada ya kunyongwa. Mwili wake Jennifer ulitambuliwa na familia yake katika makafani ya City. Wachunguzi kutoka kitengo Cha DCI wanatarajiwa kuanzisha uchunguzi baina ya wafanyakazi wenza,kudhibitisha kiini hasa cha kuuawa kwake.

Raila arejea nyumbani kutoka hospitalini

Kiongozi wa chama cha ODM Raila Odinga, aliruhusiwa wiki hii kurejea nyumbani, baada ya kupata nafuu. Raila, ambaye alipatikana kuwa na virusi vya COVID-19, alikuwa amelazwa katika hospitali ya Nairobi,ambapo alikuwa akipokea matibabu. Katika video iliyosambaa mitandaoni, kiongozi huyo alionekana kuwa afadhali kiafya, huku akielezea nia ya kuendelea kujitenga hadi wakati ambapo atapona kikamilifu.

How can I?

 

How can I 

Tell you all

I want you to know?

And will you believe me 

When I say 

My heart hurts 

For you

My heart yearns 

To reach you

My heart longs 

To open up

For you

Or will you 

Like me

Find the words 

Meaningless

?

Jaay McOngute

Caring is my default

 

The view through the window is amazing,so full of emotions.

It's not the sunset nor the landscape that has caught your eye.

It's her, she is alone, she's always alone.

Your emotions are bottling up, you are dieing to help.

You are attracted to the broken,

broken you say, aren't we all? 

So you finally get the guts to lend a hand,a spare of yourself trying to help.

Two broken people trying to fix each other 

So you offer what you cannot afford to loose

She gets better, with a thankful heart she leaves calling it friendship

You feel used, anger rises in your throat,

but what you do, your gesture of help has turned to a lump of regret,

It haunts you, so you drink your sorrows, swallow your pride

And say it's life,but is it?

Sucks to be caring by default, doesn't it?

Mbona kaniua

Na Mwende

Maneno yameondoka kinywani mwangu,

Machozi yakakwisha machoni,

Mliposimama kumpigania mtoto wa kike,

Mkanisahau mimi mtoto wa kiume,

Eti linalonikwaza ni,,, sina nafasi tena kwenye jamii.

Kazini mkapa toto la kike kipaumbele,

Wanaoongoza ni wanawake,

 wafanyakazi wengi ni wanawake pia, 

Kosa gani nilililofanya mimi?

Je, mliamua kuniua? 

Sauti sina tena, nguvu 'menipokonya, 

Manufaa ml'otaka mmepata, 

Kama kuniua ni manufaa, 

Nina imani 'meridhika zaidi, 

Taabu iliyopo ni, 

M' tapata mwengine wapi? 

Maumivu  yangu mimi toto la kiume, 

'Meona niyawasilishe kwa maandishi, 

Iwapo masikio yana nta, labda macho yataona, 

Ni haki ninayolilia, nikumbukwe 

Kama si kupewa hadhi, basi nisawazishwe na toto jike

Nifufuke angalau, lakini si kuniua vikali! 

   

                 Mwende 

Bewitched to love you

      Birds of the air, have nests

     Men of women, have houses

     But l the son of a woman,

              Have dreams

    When wandering like a lost

        Sheep,

    My eyes bumped on you,

    But lacked the gists of even

    Saying hi or  smile to you

    Because of fear, that l didn't

    Know its genesis

   Mom's daughter,

   Not last year and not today,

   That l've been just emojising 

    And reacting on your posts 

   Here on Facebook 

           But today,

   I vow, l'm not an ambulance,

  To always say "wow! Wow!"

  On your cute photos

     Girlie,

  Many times you've blue-ticked 

  Me,

  Grey ticked me,

  Though l don't know why

        But,

  Today today today,

  Please, don't break my heart,

 Don't kill my visions and dreams

 Don't burry me please,

 In the tunnel of depression

   Kissing my pillows daily,

  Hugging my pillows daily

  Leaving my house like a bird

  Daily

  Always haunt me when l think of

  My unreplied texts in your inbox,

  Until l feel like shedding tears

        Girlie,

    When will my loneliness end?

    When will my hunt tactics bore

    Fruits?

    Girlie,

  What if you're my rib? 

  Please please please please,

  I'm seriously in love with you,

  And  tired of faking 

    Now that l've met you face to 

face,

   After a long time of ignoring me,

   Just be mine and make me 

   Yours

  For your astute won my heart a

  Year ago,

                   By

        Hosea Namachanja

 

Kitumbua kimeingia mchanga

 MSUMARI MOTO: MBONA NDOA NYINGI KARNE HII HAZIDUMU?

"Ni dunia hubadilika au watu ndio hubadilika? " Aliniuliza mzee mmoja mwaka uliopita na kuongeza kuwa nisimjibu jibu nililokuwa nalo ila nijiwekee mwenyewe. Hata hivyo, alinisimulia machache yanayohusu uchumba enzi zake za ujana ambayo baadhi yayo, mwenyewe nimeyashuhudia katika maisha yangu.

Kale, palikuwapo kitanda cha mikanda ambacho kilipewa jina "kitanda cha spring'i". Jina hilo lilitokana na tabia zake wakati mtu amekilalia. Kuchao, kilikuwa cha kumchezesha mtu huku na kule namna spring'i za vyombo vya usafiri zilivyo.

Kwa hivyo, katika ndoa, wanandoa walikipenda sana kitanda hicho kwa sababu, hamna mume au mke angelala na mchumba wake bila kutatua mzozo wa uchumba uliozuka. Hata kama mmoja angekuwa na hasira nyingi, usiku kitanda kile kingetingika na kumsukuma hadi alipo mpenziwe wakati wa kujinyosha.

Ikilinganishwa na leo, mabahari ya vitanda vyumbani hayasaidii chochote. Mtu atapinda mgongo kule na mwingine kule na walale bila kuutatua mzozo wa ndoani. Fauka ya hili, ndoa nyingi katika karne hii yetu zasambaratika kwa sababu zifuatazo:

Kutoaminiana. Wengi wa wanandoa wameyafanya mapenzi kama kazi ya kibarua ambapo, baada ya kazi, mtu analipwa na kuenda zake. Hayaheshimiwi katu. Wengi wanaoana bila mpango au msimamo wa maisha au kuwa tayari kuwa katika ndoa ndiposa kila uchao, wengi huchepuka watakavyo kani ya kuwapata watoto nje ya ndoa.

Shinikizo la wanarika. Suala hili ni hatari sana kuliko kiharusi. Wengi wa vijana wa leo huingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu "fulani" kaoa au kaolewa na "yeye" bado kuulizwa ulizwa na wenzake idadi ya watoto alio nao, mahali huishi na mkewe au mumewe na maendeleo ya familia "nyumbani." Hili huwafanya kukimbilia ndoa bila maono.

Unafiki wakati wa kuchumbiana. Inafaa wakati wa kuchumbiana, wachumba tarajiwa kuyaweka mambo yao wazi ili kila mmoja ajue hali ya maisha ya mwingine. Wengi wao wakati wa kuchumbia huwa wajanja kwa kujiinua huku wakiwa hawana kitu ila uongo mtupu. Jambo hili hushusha hadhi ya imani ya uaminivu katika ndoa na pia hata kuvunjika hasa ikibainika mmoja ni mraibu wa mihadarati huku mwingine ni wa injili ya mbinguni.

Kutowajibika katika ndoa. Inasikitisha sana katika jamii ya leo kupata watoto wadogo wakichuuza sokoni kisa na maana wazazi wao waliwatwika hilo jukumu. Jambo hili ni ishara tosha kwamba, baba mzazi wa mtoto huyo hawajibiki katika malezi ya familia (iwapo yu hai) au kinyume kwa mama mzazi. Umaskini katika ndoa hutokana na kutowajibika jambo ambalo wanaume wengi siku hizi huachwa kwa mataa kisa "hawajui kuhangaikia familia."

Tamaa ya mali. Ole wao wanandoa wa usasaleo kwa kukimbilia mali! Awe amesoma au hajasoma, msichana wa sasa hashikiki katika uteuzi wa mchumba sawa na baadhi ya waume wanaoangalia maumbile badala ya vitu vingine pia. Mabinti wengi waolewa kama "mpango wa kando" kwa kuvutiwa na pesa, kazi au sifa alizonazo mwanaume. Hawajali awatongozaye ameoa au hajaoa. Lao ni pesa tu sawa na baadhi ya waume.

Fauka ya sababu hizi miongoni mwa zingine nyingi, ipo haja ya wale ambao hawajaingia au kujisajili katika shule ya ndoa kujifunza kwa wale waliowatangulia katika maisha ya ndoa ambayo huyapitia au waliyapitia ili ndoa zao zidumu kama za wazee wa kale.

      

            Chozi la Kunguni

Maulana wakumbuke

     MAULANA WAKUMBUKE

Na Hosea Namachanja

Rabi uliyetukuka, mbinguni na duniani,

Kote unaheshimika, maajabu pia nyuni

Mapema wakiamka, hukuimbia mitini,

Uhimidiwe hakika, ewe Mungu wa Yusufu

Huwa hawalali njaa, kule kwao kiotani,

Kucha wakikulilia, huwajibu Mkawini

Na mema kufurahia, wanapokula Manani

Uhimidiwe hakika, kwa sababu unatenda

Nalia baba nalia, wasonavyo wakumbuke

Nalia baba nalia, wasafiri, wakumbuke

Nalia baba nalia, waliao wakumbuke

Wakumbuke Maulana, nalia kweli nalia

Nalia kweli nalia, wajane kawakumbuke 

Nalia kweli nalia, wagonjwa kawakumbuke

Nalia kweli nalia, wagonjwa kawakumbuke

Kawakumbuke wagonjwa, nalia baba nalia

Nalia baba nalia, mayatima wakumbuke

Nalia baba nalia, wanafunzi wakumbuke

Nalia baba nalia, na watoto wakumbuke

Nalia baba nalia, kubali maombi yangu

Kuna watu wanalia, nyumba wamefungiwa,

Kuna watu wanalia, wamefutwa kazini

Kuna watu wanalia, wanavurugwa ndoani

Kuna watu wanalia, hawajalipwa mshahara

Kuna watu wanalia, kweli chakula hawana

Kuna watu wanalia, hali zao zinachekwa

Kuna watu wanalia, wanalia tena sana

Ndipo Mola nakuomba, uwasaidie jamani

               

                   Chozi la Kunguni

                    

Kiss me slow

 

KISS ME SLOW. 

By Brenda Bungei

To that boy who owns pink lips

I thought I ought to write again

You hold the chasteness of the sunrise

The glamour of the sunset

The midday song thunders in my heart

I long for you ooh owner of pink lips

So that you may hold my hand

Kiss me slow

For us to live the moment

You're a perfect embodiment of love

A true definition of happiness

You make me dazzle at you

And for a moment

I go blind carising that face

Kissing you slow

The quality of your smile impresses

It's warmth draws me naturally to you

My affection for you blinds me

It makes me reach for places I can't go

But when I remember you wore patched shorts

And I wore a tattered dress uniform

Bare feet happily promoted to grade 2

Carrying cans of water to school

And I adore those innocent moments

Days I looked at you and all I could see

was was a pretty childish face

How perversed is the human mind

With deliberation I work to earn you

Owner of pink lips

So incase we meet again

Please kiss me slow

Such that if you'll ever leave

I would remember the boy

Who wore patched shorts

Had pink lips and kissed slow

©Blackraven.

Real is rare

By Museo

 Do i push too hard? Or its just you who is uninterested ? I'm not the type to really put myself all out for somebody, but I found myself trapped by you. I really don't know what you've heard or been told about me, I'm definitely not perfect though I can be worth it. If you cuff me, don't leave me stranded. I hope you really know how it feels..I'm trying but it's not up to me when it comes to deciding, I'm dying whenever you act like I'm invisible, just tell me you're faking it.

I don't blame you though, maybe you fear that I'll leave you high and dry  someday, but I'm here to stay, if you don't like me, please tell me ,because I'm feeling dismissed . Don't wait till it's too late. Don't wait until I'm too invested to tell me you've got feelings for another ,just like I do for you. That you can love me as a friend, but as a woman its a long call.

I broke a lot of rules and grounds for you .I down graded my principles just to be with you. It's like I have been born and bred to please men .To satisfy your kind,to beguile the lines of you. But for what? To be cheated on with four other girls I'm insecure about?  Now I have to wonder if it was a body,face or hair  maybe everything.

I still hear the stillness in his voice as he declared he never loved me. As he walked away from me and k watched his back, it finally hit me that I did not know him , I just was familiar with his back. I knew a waterfall when I saw one. The kinds that do not retreat.

For now,I'm a smart girl with a broken heart and refined attitude. Gorgeous eyes and a dazzling body. Some days I cry but on most days,I remember to pick up my crown and shine all the way up

.I 'm still learning to love myself. Most important of all,I have learnt one thing: real is rare,fake,is everywhere.

Masked in Hunger, she weeps

    MASKED IN HUNGER, SHE WEEPS.

By Brenda Bungei

The economy has been tough

The journey knowingly has been rough

Terrible that she cannot afford a bun

So behind the mask of smiles she hides

As her stomach rumbles for at least a spoonful

She masks in fear of judgements and humiliation

She cannot call home, it's worse over there

With the ground dry and cracked as tho cursed

Her brothers eat like squatters from neighbors to relatives 

Sadly she understands, she can't call home

New to campus she doesn't  know  where she'll trade her labour

Only for food. Even a meal a day

Hiding under her blankets trying to subsidie the hunger with sleep

She glups water each time her stomach rumbles

She cries she weeps but deep down

She hopes someday she'll thrive

Hungry and depressed, she bottles up her problems 

Too often she masks the truth in advance

Sealing off herself from mercy  

From the stench of their judgment that overwhelms her

She hides behind memes, for fales comfort

Repeling the truth too devastating to accept. 

Teafully she's been writing ;

She's been writing because only the pen can hold what she feels

Silently cries, So silently she weeps 

Every Aroma has become poison to her nostrils 

Because weakly her stomach begs for attention

Weakly, she holds herself strong so that they may not know she's starving

She trusts no one with her situation, her faith in people is tattered 

Listening to her favorite sauti sol's tune until she's lured to sleep

Shallowly asleep, she hopes to make it through the night 

And hope tomorrow will be better.  ..

Sina chakula wenzangu

  SINA CHAKULA WENZANGU

Na Hosea Namachanja

Kukonda kwangu kukonda, wenzangu ni kuumia,

Maisha yananiponda, hadi siwezi kwongea,

Kila siku ninashinda, mtimani nikilia,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Asubuhi na jioni, kula kwangu kwa taabu,

Ila wazi kuwambeni, ninaona ni aibu,

Wapo nikiwambieni, watanicheka ajabu,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yani,

Midomo mkiniona, wenzangu imekauka,

Huku pia nikinena, kinywani mwangu mwanuka,

Kisa hakika mchana, hakuna kitu mefyeka,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Nimejawa na madeni, Fuliza na Mshwari,

Nao wazazi nyumbani, menyamaza siyo siri,

Simu kunipigieni, hawapigi siyo siri,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Ukweli rivasi koli, kwa muda nimejaribu,

Lakini ninasaili, mwanao hawanijibu,

Kwani mimi ni katili, au kipi cha ghadhabu? 

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Mimulodi nimekuwa, kwa sasa mtandaoni,

Mimu ninazipakuwa, kuficha yalo moyoni,

Na tena kutambuliwa, nina shida maishani,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Wenzangu nimwombe nani, pesa anisaidie?

Wenzangu nimwombe nani, chakula aniitie?

Wenzangu nimwombe nani, chajio nikimbilie?

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Msione nikicheka, mkadhani niko poa,

Kwa ndani ninachomeka, na masaibu hasaa,

Japo kweli kutamka, nashindwa kuwelezea,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Sijui nilikosani, mimi kweli maishani,

Ndiposa kule nyumbani, sisaidiwi jameni,

Laiti ngalijuweni, nijue la kufanyeni,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Wiki jana nimewaza, kifo kikanichukue,

Niishie kwenye giza, masomo nijiachie,

Kuliko kujiumiza, mautini nitulie,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Anisamehe Manani, kwa yale nimewazia,

Machozi anifuteni, kuishe kwangu kulia,

Na mwokozi nipateni, aje na kuniokoa,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

Tamati nikifikia, kwa sasa sina namna,

Waifai najendea, kukaa kule nanena,

Angaa kufikiria, mengi niache wasena,

Hino njaa hino njaa, wenzangu yanimaliza,

                

First years: First Exam

By Susan 

Exams bring out different parts of a student. Some realize that they are actually geeks and can get straight A's if they worked hard enough. With some comes the realization that they have wasted 3 months of the semester and have nothing to show for it now. It is the toughest time in the student's academic calendar. As much as exams are considered as the best methodology to test if the students have understood the concept taught  during lectures A friend once joked that they should make us swear that we understood the course and let us be.

"Do not fear exams, just do your best" this is the statement our high school principal used to echo to us every chance she got..

We are having our first exams in campus. Each paper takes at least two and a half hours. There are a mixed reaction amongst the students . There are those who were anxious and nervous, their are those who are calm and have hope that they can hande the exams since they have been doing it from nursery school their was going to be nothing new.  The monster we had been trying to run away from had turned into a beast. Exam was here to stay with us.

There era those who have preferred to skip their meals in order to pay more attention to the exams , the number of first years going to the library has also increased. There are those who had prepared themselves early but and are those of course the last minute thing hence each person is trying their very own best. Their is also another thing which everyone of it s is trying to escape , the " supp".It is everybody's nightmare . In order to do the re- take exam a fine is paid which yo have to dig into your pocket money because it is something no one would love to tell their parent about not unless you formulated a lie to tell them which is not ethical.

In conclusion exams play a very vital role in both the student's and lecturers or teachers . Exams should be embraced because it is something we cannot escape from , it is part us hence it should not be viewed in a very displeasing manner. Early preparation  and making reading as a habit not only for the exams but also to get knowledge is one of the major ways of eliminating negative attitude towards exams. Acquiring exam skills is also a way one preparing themselves  for the exams. Those skills include; being able to manage time, being able to manage anxiety and panic, good having good writing skills, note- taking skill, reading skills .Working hard in a smart way is the way to go.

Being a brother's/sister's keeper

The country is wallowing in a mire of economic hardship. The cost of living has escalated so tremendously that three meals in a day are a miracle not only in poor homesteads but also in the lower middle-class economy families. 

Here in campus, things are worse than ever. Tea with milk is an unthinkable option, even a luxury. That is only for those lucky enough it with sugar. Most can't even afford a single KDF. Yet that is the miraculous breakfast that is pushing comrades, saving them from fainting through the busy day in lecture halls to the evening. Even a good supper is a miracle to many.

So many comrades are suffering starvation silently here in campus. Ironically other comrades are throwing away food leftovers while others are fainting due to hunger.

Well, if you don't have anything to eat, dear comrade, don't suffer in self loathing alone.

 Be courageous enough to approach your friends and share your problem. Wisemen said, a problem half shared is a problem half solved!

 If you suffer hunger while your friends have enough food even throws away some, you will be doing the greatest injustice to yourself. It's only a fool who dies in solitude. You are not one. You can't be one, can you?

If you have any friend you are suspecting he's suffering hunger silently, help them if you can. Then keep it to yourself. Do to your neighbour as you would like him/her to do to you. Let your left hand not know what your right did or who it spread to. 

If you are not in a position to personally help, talk to your friends too. Then ensure you approve of who you are sharing the situation to. Ensure the third party are not of the Pharisee sect. When we come together, great things happen. 

Jesus commanded, "love your neighbour as you love yourself." If you can help a neighbour, a comrade, do it sincerely and secretly. English men say, "what goes around, comes around." 

 Tomorrow it might be you, God forbid! We all know tables turn against everybody's wishes. Yet that is nature. 

Refrain from all temptation of taking the word around that so and so is starving. The owner of a loose tongue is a disgust to the society and an insult to his/her mother. A Kiswahili gospel song sings, "tenda wema nenda zako!" Do good, shut up and get busy doing what you do.

Apart from assisting each other, let's also share our problems.

 So many people, even comrades are suffering depression and other mental illnesses.

Depression is real! If you have a scorching problem share with a friend who's closest to you. A nature law states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. By sharing to them they shall give an ear and even a shoulder to lean on. Most will share to you what and how they have pulled out of a similar or related problem. 

You might be surprised that your friend is combating even a more frivolous mental quagmire. 

If you can't trust your friend, maybe you prefer to share the burden with anonymous stranger(s).

There's the Guidance and Counselling office at student center where you can be listened to, counseled, advised and assisted with utmost professional confidentiality . 

You may even visit the Moi University Hospital and there are trained  professionals who can help you too. 

Finally, let's put into practice all money saving skills we've learnt. Avoid overspending on impulse buying. Make a realistic budget for the cash you have and follow it strictly. It's wiser to buy and store food in your room than to serve the scorching thirst of some drug or alcohol.

I am because you are. No man is an island! Be your brothers/sisters keeper. Love yourself and love your neighbours. Spread the love.

CHANGING MINDSET TOWARDS CAMPUS.

By SUSAN.

  From the moment you start learning, only one thing is drilled into you. Education is the key to success. Students  who have charming report cards are seen to be having a bright future and those who do not take a keen interest in academics go through continuous shaming in a bid to make them do better. The truth is,it does not always happen and they end up having a bruised self esteem. Parents consider going to the  university the pinnacle of academic achievements. After passing your O levels that  is where you continue with studies at an advance level.

However, that ship already sailed.The time of honoring university as the highest learning institution to acquire skills and be professional in a certain discipline has passed.Previously, the idea of going to university was idolized by parents .It spelled out a job opportunity soon afterwards and a bright future .However, with the increase of students and youths being churned out of campuses ,that dream soon fades away and reality of joblessness and unemployment kicks in .Next time before you celebrate university admission, ask yourself if that is what you really want .

Due to culture shock and peer pressure, most  students who leave university to go back home appear unruly .The change in dressing code,speech pattern and drug abuse is like a new norm. This makes parents feel like they changed  and they lost their children along the way.It is this blanket notion of moral erosion that is making parents change their mind about university after all.

Let us forget about the gloom for a moment .If utilized properly ,the university is a great place to be .The people you meet that are different  from you make you grow.The connections you make after class become the most important and together with a sretlin degree you will have people to recommend you for opportunities and that is all you need;someone to believe in you.Of cardinal importance is building on your interpersonal skills and technical skills .Work on your talents, gain new ones and you will beat competition.

HALFWAY SEMESTER STRUGGLES

 

 

There is a joke about students who study medicine. They tell the world that medical school is so tough,they want to cry,but they don't have time .Truth be told,it is that point of the semester that is an uphill task. Academics are beginning to take shape and more flesh added to the studying skeleton .It is  this time that random assessment test (CATS) are being done.  The ongoing pandemic could not be any worse for students. The  cold weather due to onset of rainy season and lack of HELB has left comrades with only scraps to go by. It is a hard choice between taking care of food expenses or buying airtime for online classes as well as exam materials, that is printing of takeaway exams.

Not everyone is a  party freak, but those that are,definitely feel a pinch in the soul. For most people ,it is in the budget .How much they will drink and eat at bars is on the same pie chart as rent. But at this point, students are on a hibernation. They have to cut down costs and do the famous strungi and Kdf. Someone made a joke about how much campus students do not take milk with a health excuse of lactose intolerance. The hard truth is,we can not afford that Luxury. Everyday, we walk from stage with a measure of kales,tomatoes and onions. It is funny how the good chain descends from eating chicken ,to chicken products to what chicken feed on .

  

 

I've heard of friends skipping meals. Waking up deliberately when its past breakfast to enjoy what is commonly referred to as BRUNCH,breakfast and lunch. Some spend most of their time in library after classes to escape from hunger so that they save for tomorrow. 

Online classes are much expensive as a lot of airtime is needed for bundles, smartphone with good monitor, good network coverage and calm environment. Poor network connection is a problem to everyone including the lecturers 

Their phones are full  of money lending applications like Tuliza, Tala,Branch to mention few. They have requested those relatives and friends who are working to send them money but before they do that they should ask them if they have FULIZA so  they can provide an alternative phone number. 

CLEMENCY

What happens to us

US who hold inconsistent conversations. 

Those of us who release pain through slashing our wrists.

 Who's gonna save us 

from the shadows that we are forever linked to.

We hide behind fake smiles and dark poetry

We hide behind pubs and clubs

We that hide behind drugs and girls

Trying to drown the guilt that's at the bottom of the bottle

Knowing well it can't be drowned

At times we remember you when we're off the hook

When we can't walk any further

Not because we're bored

At times we're looking for understanding

Some of the battles we fight

We fight them behind closed doors

And dented masks

Under the masked darkness of the night

You'll never know what we go through 

Because we are shitty inconsistent people 

But at least we are contented with that.

©BlackRaven

 ART OF LOVE AND LIFE.

Euripides' 'Alcestis' presents the ultimate sacrifice, and in so doing, describes what true love is. The play also gives a sense of how fragile life is. It tells us  why every day should be seen as a gift rather than a curse or burden. Throughout  history Many have grappled with the question of what makes a good and fortunate life, and even to date this topic is very present and controversial. Death is a great mystery. No one knows what truly awaits us after  death. Religion and mythology promote the idea of peace and harmony and a reunion with those we knew during life. Euripides alludes to a similar ending in Alcestis, but that is not the point of his play. 

The author chooses rather to  focus on life and the importance of treasuring every precious moment. Alcestis takes a minor character from Greek mythology and expands the play in confined ways that complete traditional comprehension as an ideal "good wife".It combines historical fiction and magical realism trying to answer the question why Alcestis sacrifices  herself in place of her husband .

 Admetus king of Pherae, a Greek city in the region of Thessaly. He wants to live past his date of death, as decreed by the Fates. After finding out he was to be taken to the underground by Hermes,Having done well by god Apollo(who, for having killing the cyclopes was temporary condemned to be a slave to Admetus) and making sure he was well cared for while he was confined to Admetus' castle as punishment by Zeus, he asks Apollo for a favor. He has Apollo inquire of the Fates if they will allow him to live beyond his date of death. As we all understand the element of "meaningful" it comes to a degree such that some period of life holds capacity meaningful than others where a kantian view say's that Admetus have an intrinsic worth in virtue of his capacity for autonomous choices, where meaningful is the function of the exercise of his capacity, nothing gives a person inner  wholeness and  peace like a distinct understanding of what life is,Fates-three goddess who controlled human destiny agree on one condition; Admetus must find someone willing to take his place. A difficult proposition, and one that develops into a theme of the play. Who would be willing to truncate their own life for another? Admetus discovers that nearly no one is willing to trade. Actually, there is one person: his wife. Alcestis, the most beautiful of the daughters of Pelias king of Iolcos in Thessaly, agrees to trade places with Admetus, and she will die in his place. A supreme sacrifice, Alcestis' action shows the depth of her love for her husband. It also shows how selfish Admetus is.

 Death of alcestis

The appointed day arrives.  Alcestis prepares for her descent into Hades. She wears her finest clothes and jewelry. She says her farewells, and then sits with her two children and husband. She makes a promise to Admetus. Because of her sole sacrifice,knowing there's ''nothing so precious as life,'' she tells Admetus to not ''remarry and impose on her children some vicious stepmother.''

Admetus agrees on her terms. He tells her "No Thessalian bride shall ever reclaim me.'' He honors her life, and in so doing references the theme of how precious life is. Admetus then gives the order that there shall be no more celebrations or ''song and garland in my home.'' He will mourn Alcestis' sacrifice until his dying days.

Heracles.

To be continued...

WHAT WENT WRONG MY HUSBAND?

My husband,

The wound is still raw, raw in my heart

Many years l've stooped to low, low in your presence

But you've kept on hurting me, me with all kind of shit

Today l've decided to unveil, unveil your domestic violence

My husband,

In our courtship, you were well mannered

You loved the church, and God's word

I saw holiness in you, and holy spirit of God

But today, you are doomed

My husband,

Through you, l've suffered

Through you, l've been mocked

Through you, l've moaned

Through you, I've been injured

My husband,

When l was about to deliver our first born

You came home one day smelling wine

And when l enquired, you slapped me several times

What wrong had l done? I cried bitterly

My husband,

See, this left hand of mine, you broke it

14 years down the line, one cold evening

Truly, were you mad or fit?

If it were not my parents' support, would we be shining?

My husband,

Why do you want to curse our children?

Did you support their education?

Blame yourself blame your wine

You used to hurt them, leave them alone

My husband,

Jesus Christ changed water into wine

How could l change sukumawiki into meat?

Or you wanted me to be like Jesus God's son?

Because of what you used to do, they fear you and when they see you, they recall it

My husband,

How many times did they sleep hungry? 

How many times did you pour water in our three stone cooking machine?

How many times l'd you come home peaceful and not angry?

Please don't curse our blessed children

My husband,

If you want lightening of God to strike you, talk ill of our children

Why don't you get satisfied with what they give you?

Remember God is still angry with you man

See, you are a doomed husband who was one time a Christian

@Hosea M Namachanja

AT THE BRINK....

I had been standing over the window for  quite some time now .My mood was pensive and I was somewhat greatful that I turned down the family dinner.I was tired of yet another episode of showing face just to have beautiful pictures for Instagram. Exhausted of practicing our 'Wilson smile';something mother has inculcated in us since we learnt how to say her name. We had one mantra in the family that she tried religiously to make us uphold. "A Wilson is the same, inside and outside ." Although thinking back right now,I think a Wilson is a pretender inside and outside.Our parents were going through a messy divorce .But they still had to hold hands as  they went out in public because they had to save face .As soon as they arrived in the house,they would sanitize as though each other's arms contained something lethal. What followed after that was a trail of insults and blamegames that still irritate my ears even after they were gone.

It was cold outside. I knew I was far zoned out but I also did not want to come back to reality. My reality is hard and miserable; like they say, reality lacks background music.I could not wrap my head around anything .In junior  school, I was the epitome of excellence in all aspects. Self driven ,a great mean grade and dreams to travel the world in my own private jet.All the students practically had an altar at my feet.If I could not solve a question, it automatically had an error .It felt good to be a geek.The attention was my drive to do better. It was the only thing that made me feel like I mattered. This only meant admission to a great high school to battle the toughest brains out and secure a place in my dream college. The beginning was great.As always, I was a magnet with my brilliance, but time often betrays mankind more than it honours them.I began to seriously spiral and my descent to the deepest lybrinth never stopped.

Somewhere along the way,My report card lost its charm.My results were deteriorating and my parents would  make  demeaning comments about my rusting brain and how much I lost interest in getting my life together .My mother once said that her death will be by fire so that instead of us inheriting anything, she goes to the grave with it! Come to think of it,be  careful what you wish for ...

 The whiskey in my hands was ice cold . I loved the feeling. Numbing.I contemplated on pouring it down the drain and using water instead.But I held on to it .The pills would make me sleep away peacefully and somewhere in the dead of the night, death would claim me.I laughed at the thought of that. Sadism. Maybe that's all my life had turned into.The thought of pain made me come alive.I knew where  my father kept his cigars.If I was going to die, I might as well enjoy the remaining items on my bucket list. I lit it and enjoyed a  long puff.There was an alcohol spill on the counter  but at that time,I did'nt care.I will be dead by the time my  mother came home  to scold .Maybe She'll get a heart attack knowing her daughter was.....you know "not upholding the Wilson way "

As I drunk down my last swallow I opened the window .I see Maddie following her dog to the swimming pool .She is the housekeeper's daughter and I had watched her grow like my own sister.I promised myself to make the world a better place for her. And yet here I was ending the very life, selfish isn't it? I was forced to reality by her scream. Angie,Angi.....!!She s drowning. I dropped the cigar and whiskey to the floor and dive from the window to the swimming pool outside .It was the highest and the  most risky thing I had done in my entire life. But I had to get to her. To Maddie .To save a life .I can imagine the headlines " saved by death"or from it . It would take a keen journalist to tell the intimate details of that story. I got to her as I heard a loud explosion followed by a screech of brakes. 

My parents were running towards the house.The water prevented me from seeing clearly . With Maddie safe in my chest I swam away to the end of the pool. She hugged me tightly; so terrified and scared.My head was fuzzy, my vision blurry and the sounds were fading .At first I thought it was the impact of the dive and the adrenaline ,but later reality checked in,the sleeping pills were taking effect.I didn't expect it to be that soon.I should have listened to the pharmacist,taking the pills with whiskey instead of water was a bad idea.It just made my path straight to oblivion shorter and faster .Yet at that moment when I held Maddie all I wanted was to live.It was the only way I would protect her ,the only way I would save her.As my eyes were closing ,the magnitude of my actions struck me but it was too late or so I believed until I woke up two weeks later in a hospital bed with my whole family surrounding me.I never thought I would say this,but I was glad to see them.Yet the first question I asked was ,"Where is Maddie?".The last thing I remembered was wishing I survive this to be with her .

According to Dr. Girishchandra, Sr. Consultant, Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, Most people who commit suicide are contemplating till the very last minute whether they should do it or not. However, there is a small percentage of people who exhibit certain calmness once they have made up their mind. I was calm because I had made peace with the thought of dying. I had been contemplating suicide for a while and that is why I was categorical about it at a time when no one was supposed to be home .

After recovery I had to answer alot of questions despite the fact that everyone was cautious on how they acted around me .They all thought I just decided to kill myself .But it was more complex than that,it was not just a decision.Alot of things had pushed me to a point that my survival insticts had been diminished .The emotional bargain had been too much to bear and I did not feel like I had the time to wait for the point of relief .

They all believed that because I attempted suicide I was pro- suicide.What they did not realize is I was conflicted about it all along.When everything was wrong ,I always thought of a way to see through things . Found positivity in all the negativity.I was even scared of it ,  Subconsciously I used to sabotage my own attempts at suicide .I would try popping pills but not a lot of them or this one time ,I popped pills when no one was home but then I had wasted the whole day thinking about it so by the time I did it,it was around the time someone would be home , someone to save me incase I changed my mind.Which I did .

My family thought by attempting suicide I was trying to get back at them .My way of rebelling against the "Wilson way".But it was not .I thought about them the day I attempted,they crossed my mind each time I would have flashes of reality in my hospital bed .Never at one time did I want to hurt them.I know my actions were hurting but then at that moment I did not think about that .In fact ,I was just tired of my own life and not only the part involving them.Since I was part of the reason why my parents kept fighting,I thought killing myself would make life better for them.I thought my sister could finally get everything she wanted without my parents having second thoughts and my classmates will have less competition in school.

The neighborhood thought I felt unloved .Truth be told ,despite all the family feuds and pretence ,I felt loved. I got almost everything I asked for and I had a shoulder to learn on when my world was shaking .The love I felt from the people around me was able to sustain me in through the many dark moments I had in life. It was enough to help me hope for the  light at the end of the tunnel and made me fight for that light .But sometimes,darkness overwhelms light that's the only way we distinguish day from night.At at that moment darkness won.I lost all hope of a better life .At that time ,all the love they gave me felt like a flame to boiling water ,no matter how much they increased it ,it was not up to it to make the water boil,I was the water ,and I was still not boiling .

When I first opened my eyes on that hospital bed,my sister was crying .She was blaming herself for what happened to me .she was wondering what she could’ve done differently. It was  gut-wrenching but also, in some ways, comforting her  because it deluded her into thinking that she had some kind of control over the what happened to me .Yet she did not .I know if my family has been any different,I would still have found a reason to attempt suicide because deep down,it wasn't about them,it was about me .That sounds cliché but then it was just the case ;my reaction to the world and not the world's actions to me .

One evening,I was coming down from my room and I heard my mum talking to her friend.Her friend was telling her to watch me closely as I may reattempt suicide and that they should talk less about that incident as it may trigger me again .You know ,there are two kinds of people who attempt suicide, those who have thought about it and those who do it impulsively.maybe the did have a reason to be alarmed ,but then I was not an impulsive person so about that she was wrong even though she sounded right .That kind of stigma did hurt me ,her assumption was right according to scientists people who attempt suicide and fail reattempt it but then that was not the case for me. I had found a reason to live,I had found Maddie and that meant no more suicide attempts .

Right now ,I live life. I am not sure I am supposed to say I was saved "by death" or "from death."If Maddie had not almost drowned that day ,I am not sure my body would have fought so hard to survive when the pills were wearing me down.They say reasons to live give reasons to die and my case reasons to die,gave me reasons to live.Maddie.

DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE.

 I might be acting all cool with friendships but don't come to my house. See, you might have known me in the past as a social butterfly but what if things changed? What if quarantine changed me ? Or let's reason this way, what if whoever you know outside there is a completely different person to the one you'd meet indoors? Don't come to my house!

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I dislike visitors but what if I'm butt naked with a pair of socks and mask? Would you expect me to dress up just because you're coming to my house? Honestly it's so tiresome dressing up to go out and dressing in to be indoors so if you don't have to, please don't come to my house.

Don't come to my house because I don't live like you. I take cold corn meal with overnight beef stew in the morning and later do snacks at mid day. How will you survive if you come because I'm honestly not taking bread and milk as my first meal? To add it all, I make my corn meal with a mixture of millet and cassava. What will you eat if you decide to disobey my quest and come? With all honesty, I'm not changing my lifestyle for someone who can't stay at his place so please don't come to my house.

Don't come to my house because I listen to one paroga nyasuba all day. What if you love mixing bongo, riddims, blues and reggae? What if you just wanna listen to a well arranged playlist and move from one genre to another? What if you don't love people singing along to music and you'd rather Concentrate on the tunes than the distraction of singing along?  I'll disrespectfully ignore your existence and shake my waist as I sing and do my chores so please stay at your place and don't come to my house.

Listen, I pray straight two hours with worship songs along and sometimes I just wanna be quiet and have no one talk to me. What happens when you come to my house and you wanna watch a movie at my praying time? Are you going to listen to me pray for two hours straight or are you going to stay at your place because heck! You are not gonna listen to me having my private talks with God. Please don't come to my house.

Don't come to my house because I talk to myself a lot. What if you think I'm possessed and go tell everyone that? Look, I'm used to having a meeting with a committee of me, myself and I daily and sometimes we rekon the past and break into loud laughter. What if you get scared or in worst case scenario think that I'm laughing at you? For the sake of your peace, don't come to my house.

Don't come to my house because some nights I skip meals. It's not because I'm intermittent fasting or saving money but there are days when I'm just too tired to cook or not in the mood of eating any food no matter how good it is. What if you're not used to that and you starve to death? For the sake of your own life, don't come to my house.

There are days I don't wanna talk to anyone or have anybody breathe my air. What if I'm in one of those days? Will you carry your own oxygen in a container because you chose to not stay at your place or what will you do? Listen, I know that's hard so please don't come to my house.

What if you come to my house and I don't feel like sharing my meals with you? Look, sometimes I live on a budget and I'm not ready to spend more and sharing the little on my budget is a no too. What are you gonna do? Carry your own food from your place? Because we can all cook,stay at your place and don't come to my house!

Lastly, I invite the people I want to my space, if you don't get an invite from me stay at your place and if you have to see me, plan a date and invite me over. I like meet ups when I'm free, not just at my place so plan one and if you can't, please don't come to my house.

@Mimi_Bree254

SPORTS ROUND UP

 By Branham

... in the last minute easing off Mason Greenwood over Axel Tuanzebe who lately has carried the cross over being the root cause of the match determining goal...

A Saturday the 6th afternoon marked the advent of a packed weekend as far as European football is concerned. In the EPL, an early kick-off minnows Aston Villa stunned 'The Gunners' in an early lead with a 2nd minute Ollie Watkins goal. An aggressive Villa team displayed a superb match full of blitz at their home stadium Villa Park, marked with Bertrand Traore assisting O.Watkins with a superb cross-cut effort that was deflected past a helpless Arsenal goalkeeper straight into the back of the net.  Despite the Gunners enjoying a second half near-perfect ball possession, they found the Villa defense impenetrable.

 

Alll in all, Villa managed to collect all the 3 points managing to complete a league double over Arsenal for the first time since the inaugural Premier league season in 1992/93. It certainly was a bitter pill to swallow by the under-pressure Arsenal coach Mikel Arteta who suffered a second successive loss having lost to  Wolverhampton Wanderers with 9 men in the mid-week weekend fixture.

To culminate Saturdays EPL was a fierce hard fought battle between second placed United against Everton,The Tofees. It all looked like a sealed win in the first half which ended with Everton trailing'The Red Devil's' by two goals. Edinson Cavani's 24th minute opener silenced their opponents before Portuguese playmaker Bruno Fernandes added a second and seemingly last nail on the coffin goal in the 45 th minute marking a couple seconds to halftime.

In the second half, the visitors bounced back rejuvenised. Abdoulaye Doucore and James Rodriguez proved the host's wrong with two back to back goals in the 49th and 52nd minute respectively. Rock hard United midfielder Scott McTominay brought the home team back at the top with a 70th minute header. United appeared all set to win the game with their players showcasing their talents in the rest of the match little did they know what fate lay in store for them as Dominic Calvert-Lewin, the Everton finisher finished them off with a last minute goal prompting a 3-all draw. 

 

Securing a point at Old Trafford appeared as a dream come true to the Everton team.The result left United fans and pundits across the board fuming over the tactical substitution Ole Gunnar Solskjaer made in the last minute easing off Mason Greenwood over Axel Tuanzebe who lately has carried the cross over being the root cause of the match determining goal. 

The United coach later on speaking to Sky Sports News asserted, guns blazing that United were nowhere near title chasers. His sentiments came seemingly in the wake of the unbelievable last minute draw.

 Laliga Santander: It saw Deportivo Alaves hitting Real Valladolid 1 goal to none. Levante and Granada shared the spoils with a two - all draw . The same happened to Elche against Villarreal. Sevilla, on the other hand, mauled ten man Getafe 3 nil thanks to R. Yanez Djene's 54th minute red-card and subsequent send-off. 

In a more than entertaining fixture, Real Madrid bounced back to their winning ways in a 2 -1 comeback. Raphael Varane from Los Blancos was in record books when he scored an own goal and later on again scored the winning goal deep into stoppage time.

NIAMINI MAI HANI

    Na Chozi la Kunguni

Miaka nenda na rudi, mambo mengi hutendeka,

Rafiki huwa hasidi, wakatiwe ukifika,

Kama mvua na radi, sautiye husikika,

Penzi kama kikohozi, haliwezi kufichika,

Wapo wengi duniani, ambao umewaona,

Safarini na sokoni, hapo huwezi kukana,

Nami kwangu mtimani,  nakuona wa maana,

Kaniamini tabibu, ndiwe wangu wa pekee,

Ninenapo kishairi, naomba uniamini,

Rohoni nina fahari, kuwa wako mahabani,

Tutazisaka dinari, kila siku maishani,

Ewe ndiwe roho yangu, mke wangu wa thamani,

Chochote unachotaka, mmeo ntakupatia,

Elewa unapendeka, mke wangu nakwambia,

Kwako mie metosheka, mai bebi wavutia,

Siwezi nikachepuka, ili uje kujutia,

Natamani natamani, uje nikukumbatie,

Na uketi ubafuni, busu nikakupatie,

Unilalie kifwani, miguuni nikulee,

 Nikweleze sikioni, nipendavyo usikie,

Mawi sinifikirie, kuwa ninakuchezea,

Hili leo litambue, switi wangu mai dia,

Sinifanye mi nilie, penzi nimekutunzia,

Kama wataka asali, nipo radhi mi kukupa,

Mama wa watoto wangu, nami baba wa wanao,

Sikutakiii machungu, mapenzi  ndiyo kibao,

Nafahamu hulkangu, ukorofi mi sinao,

Hali mimi nakuenzi, sijui nikwambiaje,

Nitakalo mie moja, siku moja nikuoe,

Sitaki viwe vioja, bebi nikakuchezee,

Mambo kweli kuboboja, siyapendi nitambue,

Usiwahi ukadhani, kuwa ninakuchezea,

Ni mbali tumetoana, hili najua wajua,

Mazuri metendeana, hapa chini yake jua,

Wakati tulipatana, ulinamsha hisia,

Kunguni nikadhania, bebi upo chini yangu,

Tamati nikifikia, ninakupenda kikweli,

Si porojo nakwambia, nayosema yakubali,

Kweli ntakuvumilia, aali na kulihali,

Kati ya warembo wote, pekee umenitosha,

 

HOPE

By Brenda.

Pain, you can not avoid

People die,

 people leave

Things change 

we feel betrayed

But for pain

Never betrays.

eats up piece by piece 

till you are no more

Darkness sets in,

horrific nightmares

The graveyard noises,

The coffins bang

slowly, moral sanity shades in

till there's no more to shed

Till you are sane no more insanely sane.

Hatred,rejection,

engulf

hope to conquer the odds beyond hope

To fight time to save a life just one

But then darkness please in yet can't be conquered

But when it gets dark

Hold on 

Cling to hope. 

After everything else, keep fighting

For one time darkness will fade

And there will be light

Because hope like the truth has a way  of setting us free.

Always hope

For what doesn't kill...makes you stronger.

© Zafaran _BlackRaven

NAVIGATING LOVE WHEN IT GOES SOUR.

By Hosea Namachanja 

You loved them. In fact, every second of your day was spent panning out a future with them in it. When you read a steamy romance novel,you can't help but get ideas about great it would be to experiment .You see pictures of houses and vehicles and all you can think about is riding and living with them. They are in all aspects your better half. You can picture a life before them,but after they leave, that is a blur and a black box very few people want to open .But such is the nature of human relationships. One minute you are the center of my universe and the next I'm questioning my sanity and the very decision to walk life with you.

There are so many people that fake smiles to the outside world. Deep down in the darkest parts of themselves is a soul that grieves and craves revenge. However, it is a twisted way to seek peace and love once again. What you carry forward is a life full of trauma and unhealed wounds that will bleed  on people who seek to love.

There are several ways to uproot the bitter fangs of bitterness and  exorcise the demons of revenge. Pain and bitterness like aloes,drips slowly on your soul scouring until there is nothing left of you. Now more than ever,it is time to call on reason.

      1 .Don't draw conclusions without                         examination.

Instead of resorting to aggressive measures like poisoning, physical abuse, verbal exchange, and financial frustration,  take time and listen .Drastic measures always end up hurting more than healing. It gets particularly worse if children are involved.  It is wiser to get away from everything and go back to yourself. There is no justification for cheating but in Science, there are always facts to support a result.  It is  best to move from the scene slowly and reexamine yourself where you went wrong and cite nice conclusions of either continuing with relationship or putting a period.

      2. Isolate yourself  and exhume all your              bitterness.

Never put up a show to prove to yourself or anyone that you have everything figured out. This includes bottling up your feelings and pretending as though your life is a fairy tale hours after the love  of your life blew away your love story. Cry if you must,and you should. Get yourself together before you are finally ready to take on the world.

      3)Don't rush into a new relationship                    before the betrayal wound heals.

Others call it rebounds. Consolation is not by getting into a new relationship. It may be so messy and rocky than the first betrayal itself. Many do look for comforts in new love relationship and end up hurting the innocent one just by imposing the pain to the undeserved.  Love is meant to be shared. If your heart bleeds for another soul,it is only fair not to get entangled in a new romantic relationship.

      4) Share your distraught with a right person and receive good guidance.

Even introverts when drowning will cling on straws .Talking  it out makes you realize that is probably not as bad as you thought when you first came into contact with it. After  confiding in a friend, you may get insight and great advice on how to handle the issue with wisdom.

As a general advice, love is a beautiful thing and do not cheat yourself out of an opportunity to have a happy healthy trust -filled  relationship .

  

DEAR PARENTS :TUMA KITU by Ibran Nabungolo

 

Dear diary,

They say that do not commit to writing anything you wouldn't want anyone to read. But today, I'm writing this just so someone can do exactly that. Today, I vent on paper about the struggle that is campus life. Is not a easy as the tales of enjoyment and partying that we were told about. In Kenya coming to campus is always met with joy and pride from parents when their son or daughter merit to go to university and is termed as a huge success. 

Most parents push their children to be admitted in high end universities in the capital. However, very few actually think through how they will sustain upkeep for them. For most parents, school fees is as far as it goes. Does anyone actually care that we struggle to keep ourselves sane? Maybe someone already sold the idea of youths being extravagant and living way beyond their means .

 .

Since the introduction of the cooking ban,things keep getting tougher especially for those that live in the hostels. Opening up to parents about this is not easy. How do you find the words to tell a parent who worships your very feet that you are not comfortable to be in the university because you can not finance your stay there? Slaying in hostel with a piece of kdf and hot water is slowly but surely becoming a norm. Waking up to  to a bunch of un- bounced lectures is but a tale too familiar with the comrades.

With money being the motherboard to any life in campus , most parents think that just HELB loan that is given to students is enough to wait for a semester to end so as to welcome their sons and daughters back home . With an average comrade spending at least 150 for an average student in moi university according to our research per day  going to food without including basics of typing works, uploading notes and printing and printing of assignments averagely a student spends up to eight hundred shillings per week . Such amount is not recognized by the parent or guardian arguing that most of their children are spendthrifts is not true.

Students have even ended up being unable to fully sustain their meals  and academic work .Some are forced to forgo some meals  in order to spread their thin maintenance money over a longer period .I'm sure,I'll go back home having lost a few pounds and I'm certainly not going to blame it on the pitch or gym .Mother, I've been starving. Please parents tuma kitu; buying your son or daughter a good smartphone only is not enough to day your child is studying in university. Not today.