GUMZO LA MAKOMREDI

( Micro-komredi anatambaa juu ya kitanda. (Komredi-jinale machana anafungua mlango na kuingia huku mkononi amebeba vitabu)
Micro-komredi: Hahaha.... leo umehudhuria mhadhara...
Komredi: Umewahi nisikia nikisema kuwa sitahudhuria mhadhara.. Chuoni nilikuja kusoma bwana si kufanya masihara...
Micro-komredi: Eti wewe ulikuja kusoma? Nilikusikia siku ile ukimwambia rafiki yako sijui eeeeh...Omondi kuwa ulikuja chuoni kujivinjari..
Komredi: Chuoni tunajivinjari na kusoma...hayo yote ni mamoja...hujajua sheria ya makomredi?
Micro-komredi: aaah si ni ile nasikia mnasema eti "a comred is always right.." nilisikia mkisema siku moja. Ninapojificha godoroni huyasikia mazungumzo yenu..mbona hamjawahi kufanya maandamano eti tunawasumbua?
Komredi: Alaa! Wewe ndo' uliniharibia usingizi leo...
Micro-komredi: Ulidhani ukiwasha stima ningejificha...ni kweli nilijificha lakini sikuenda mbali. nilikuwa hapo tu karibu. Nilikusikia ukisema eti afadhali ungebook hostel H..
Komredi: Huko ni afadhali....
Micro-komredi: Huku mnalia, kule H makomredi wenzako wanaomboleza..
Komredi: Mtakomeshwa siku moja..mtanyunyuziwa dawa iliyo na sumu
Micro-komredi: zi, Wapi,hizo ni ahadi tu mlipewa kuwa tutanyunyuziwa sumu. Nilidhani umefahamu hali ya mambo chuoni Moi. Hiyo dawa itanunuliwa mwaka kesho na watasema imegharimu mamilioni. Wakati huo utakuwa umeondoka chuoni. Utakuwa huko nje ukila githeri ukisubiri ajira.Hehehe...Chuo kilicho na utofauti ati! Chuo chenye upekee!
Komredi: Wewe,usianze uchokozi!
Micro-komredi: Usinikasirikie yakhe! sisi sote ni makomredi hata kama mimi micro-komredi.... Sote huweza kusema "Riiah"
Komredi: Unajua kusema Riiah hata wewe?
Micro-komredi: Mie husikia tu mambo. Nilisikia mkisema hivyo wakati wa uchaguzi...mbona hao waliokuwa wakiwaambia "Riiah" hawajachukua hatua...Wako wapi hata salamu pekee hawawasalimu....mlijiita eti..We the people..."
Komredi: Nani alikuambia wametusahau,ngoja mgomo utokee utajua kuwa tuliwachagua kwa sababu...hatukuwachagua kwa kuchagua tu.
Micro-komredi: Elimu ya chuo kikuu haijakusaidia? "You have gone through the university but the university have not gone through you" nadhani umepevuka kimawazo? Hao viongozi wenu huwatumia ili wakapewe donge nono..wajinga ndo waliwao...
Komredi: Unaita makomredi wajinga..
Micro-komredi: Namaanisha kuwa upevu wa kimasomo wanao ila kwa masuala ya kawaida, hamna tofauti kati yao na walevi kijijini...
Komredi: Usitusi komredi bwana...ujinga wa makomredi u wapi bwana?
Micro-komredi: U kwenye uchaguzi hasa..wakati wa uchaguzi utawaona nje ya ukumbi wa students centre. Utawasikia wakiulizana makabila ya wale wanaogombea....Eti waunde miungano ya kisiasa,miungano ya kikabila.
Komredi: Tukome masihara sasa... mpenzi wangu akija hapa usimtaabishe sio?
Micro-komredi: Nitashirikiana nawe ukiniahidi jambo moja.
Komredi: Jambo lipi hilo! Nipo radhi. La mno uamue kujificha demu wangu akija hapa
Micro- komredi: Naomba unifunze kusema "riiah"
Komredi: utaweza kweli? Jitayarishe basi tuseme kwa pamoja..moja,mbili,tatu...
Micro-komredi na Komredi: Comraaaaaaaaaaades Riah!!!

BETTING, A PERSONAL CHOICE

Talk of betting for sports and words like Sportpesa, Bet in, Bet away, Elite bet and Just bet comes to your mind. Once you mention such names, you’ll have attention of every youth. This gamble thing, it’s the easiest way to make money without seeking for employment. I think its job itself.

People do bet because of different reasons. There are those who bet for fun. It’s exciting to gamble. Others do so to get easy money especially when you’re broke and all you can do is wonder where the hell are you going to get cash... for the university students, first semester has not been the best for them. It hasn’t favored them financially.  Even those who know nothing about football are into sport gambling. They wanna see where their luck lies. They got high hopes to win large amount of money.

 Some have made it an investment where they expect a return. You just have a hundred bob in your pocket and you expect to have more than that at the end of the game. This is what Sandra, a third year student had to tell me when I enquired why she had to bet” Coz I’m a gambler…I ain't afraid of taking risks, I know its worth.”
Single bet or multibet? Most people prefer multibet as you get more money than just having a single bet. It increases your expected returns. From it, you can win millions of money because of  many odds put together. For a single bet, you got to be sure of what you’re doing.

Those who do single bets have their reasons too. It’s the best if you’re sure of. May be its matter of trusting your instincts. It also helps one to avoid these new Kenyan proverbs “Game moja ndo ilinitenda” or “Sportpesa ni wezi.” The “kunyonywa” thing you know.
However, there are those who would prefer both depending on the nature of games.
People have benefited from betting. For smart gamblers, they make more wins than losses. It helps people to pay their debts, bills, treat their loved ones and put food on the table. You can go to sleep with sh 50 and wake up with sh 3000 in your account.

Bob says,” Betting helps me learn the rules of gambling which I plan to professionalize in future.” How is he gonna do that? The question is better answered by him.
Sport betting is addictive. It has no benefits for real. You tend to get much and lose the little you had.  One wins as much money as he has lost. You depend on luck.
There are those who bet once, they lose and are done with it. They even no longer watch football. I didn’t quit betting, just having a break. I’ll be back soon when I’m sure of winning jackpot.  Anyway, gambling require patience. You have to be optimistic. It’s a choice, whether broke or not…and do you know what? Choices have consequences.
To all gamblers, you should listen to The Gambler by Kenny Rodgers and borrow from it. Hebrews 13:5 says, ‘Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have ....’

WHO IS TO BLAME?

Women are their own enemies, right? That's what they say.Recently,I have heard and read a lot of judgmental comments on different sites condemning  that but we  should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here".May be you think  I' am a skank for my honesty. Anyway I would care less of what you think of me.I am no saint, however I want you know that I didn't mean to fall in love with him.There was never any expectation of comfort when we first met as neighbours.

I  knew I couldn't get too close because from very begginning I knew about you.I knew  about the fact that you two have been a perfect couple.I knew how happy you made him.I want you  to know that I tried my best not  to fall in love with him but he closed the boundaries.

Things changed when you got a promotion at your work place and you started treating him like a minor.You always  reprimanded him like he was a child.Remember how controlling you were?Always tried to manage every situation from what he should wear to what time he should sleep.I know  you only tried to change him to make him perfect but that's what pushed him away. You got too comfortable and stopped putting effort in your marriage and that's why you didn't even listen to him when he wanted to express his feelings.You were offending him When you didn't care to listen.

That was when he run to me for help.As a good neighbour I thought that listening to him would make him feel much better and for sure he did.Nothing makes betrayal right.So am not trying to justisfy my deeds.

From that day we joked and flirted but kept a sizable distance between us.That one late night conversations turned into a daily routine followed by streching discussions. When I realized how happy I was becoming each time we communicated I got terrified. As days passed by we become a couple.The ones with a secret.The couple that sneaks around, make phone calls early in the morning or very late at night.I had to admit that i was falling in love with his soul.

I am not always comfortable with the names 'a homewrecker,a hoe or a husband snatcher' that am being called and I  even wish we were never neighbours because may be we would not have fallen in love with your husband.Fate made it happen and there is nothing I can do.

You hate me,right?Of course I know that and you are probably thinking of how you will destroy me,but then before that please help me understand "who is to blame"

AKUFUKUZAYE HAKWAMBI TOKA

Waama, ni dhahiri shahiri kama jua la utosini kuwa, anayekufukuza si lazima anene neno ‘toka’ ila utaona kwa vitendo.Ingawa ni jambo la hasidi sana mtu kutokwambia hataki mambo yako na akuelekeze tu kuwa nyumba yake uione paa, hilo ndilo jambo la maana kuliko mtu kugundua mwenyewe kuwa hahitajiki au kuwa yeye ni jipu katika maisha ya mwengine.

Mapenzi yanatawala dunia jinsi tunavyojua .lakini katika kila penzi ,huwa na vikwazo na ni kutoka kwa hivyo vikwazo ndipo watu huunda minyororo ya mapenzi.Sisi kama wanadamu wenye akili razini ,tunafaa kutumia akili zetu si tu kwa kufikiria jinsi ya kulisukuma gurudumu la maisha yetu, bali pia kufikiria kitu ambacho mwengine anafikiria sana kuhusiana na matendo yako.

Vitendo ni muhimu sana hasa kwa walio katika uhusiano wa kimapenzi.Anayetaka kumaliza uhusiano wa kimapenzi hatokufungulia mlango akwambie amechoka nawe. labda tu kama ni mwenye ujasiri usiowasirika

Kuna tabia ambayo waja wengi huwa nayo na mwenzangu, usimake wala kuhangaika na kubung’aa.Ni tu ukweli mchungu  unaofaa kukubali.Akina dada,ukiona dau linaenda mrama,shuka kabla hujashushwa na kuaibika.Huyo mwanamume unayemuenzi akianza kukupuuza, usilie wala kuona ulimwengu umekusaliti,jikakamue na uondoke rawsababu hiyo ni njia yake ya kukuambia uhame.

Kitambo ulikuwa ua la waridi,hurulaini wa peponi, wakati mapenzi yalipoanza. lakini baada ya muda wewe umekuwa si chochote .Hiyo ni njia bayana ya wewe kugura katika huo uhusiano.Kama unangoja kengele ama filimbi ndiposa uondoke,pole.

Kaka,umeona tu vizuri katika mtandao wa kijamii;katika whatsapp,instagram na kadhalika picha anazoweka ni za mwanamume mwengine;si babake,si kaka yake na ukimwuliza ,neno atakalotamka ni ‘rafiki’.Upuuzi wako utakufanya uamini.Picha yenyewe imewekwa kwa muda na picha yako hawezi dhubutu kuiweka.Huoni anaaibika kukuweka wewe na kuwa chaguo lake liko kwingine!Hama kaka

Umeona simu yake na mawasiliano yake si ya kuridhisha.Mtu anayedai anakupenda anawezaje kumtumia mwengine arafa za mapenzi halafu wewe huyo umeridhika naye!Unaambiwa toka lakini sababu umezoea maneno na si vitendo, utajikalisha hapo.Tunafaa kutilia manani vitendo zaidi ya maneno.Msome mtu vizuri na ujue matendo yake vyema na uyatafsiri mwenyewe sababu: akufukuzaye, hakwambii toka, ila utaona kwa vitendo vyake.

BEING FAKE IS REAL; THE WOMAN TODAY

You see her swaying her hips on the pavements, really nice curves! But then you wonder if what you are admiring is from her mama. That could be hip enhancers, you know. That ample backslide could  be a perfect work of a plastic surgery somewhere .That mid cleavage that makes your palms sweat and drifts your mind to another world ,could be the work of a wonder bra. Do you see those bushy eyelashes? Perfect eyebrows? Does her mum possess them? You don't have to be told they're artificial Do you remember yourself admiring her well-manicured nails and wishing she was yours because your girlfriend's nails are short and bitten? Remember, she can still have the same at a fair cost ...that's if you don't mind having a fake damsel by your side.

Are women right in what they are doing? In my opinion, they are. We are living in a competitive world. A world of fashion, in which artificial will do the trick of making you suddenly irresistible. A world where a little plus of the mass flesh behind your back will make you every man's dream.
A world where having a deeper cleavage than your colleague will make you more preferred for a job. This is a world where that classy look will give you a rare chance to advertise fine brands of leading companies on T.V. A new age where you get favors because of how you look. People treat you according to how you dress.

With rapidly changing global fashion trends, the word 'natural' is slowly but surely losing its meaning. You will always hear men complain of fake women but then that will be the same guy who will remind you to do something about your natural hair. One who pays you that sweet compliment after you visit the salon. Most popular socialites and celebrities today are fake, yet adored! A good ambassador of this religion is our own Vera Sidika, aka Vee Beiby, is undoubtedly a lady that most guys would die for; those eye lashes, the light complexion, the big ass, the pear shaped body…I can go on and on but I don’t want to risk drooling with Team mafisi, the bottom line is nothing in her is real but most men die for her! Another case is Nicki Minaj, she is who she is because of nose job, breast and butt implants, though she is a great raster of all time. Most ladies today would do anything to be the center of attraction, men who pressurize their women to be natural yet secretly ogle at ladies who have artificial beauty this is for you! That's why I feel women have no better option rather than being fake. In a nutshell, do make ups if you are good with it, be natural if you are good in it! Don’t go for nose job, butt or breast implant, you will age sooner than you know it!

DADAVUO LA SIASA ZA MUSO

Mwenye macho haambiwi tazama, Hali imeanza kubadilika chuoni.Kila kuchao makundi mbalimbali yanaendelea kushuhudiwa katika maeneo mengi chuoni. Hii ni ishara tosha ya mchakato mzima wa siasa kung’oa nanga .Wanaojumuika katika makundi haya madogo madogo si wahubiri, si wapiga mtindi, si watafiti bali nitawaita wakeretwa  wa kisiasa.

Njiani kunashuhudiwa salamu zisizo kifani. Ikilinganishwa na muhula uliopita pana ongezeko la salamu za mja maradufu. Inakisiwa kuwa wale wote walioongeza ukuruba wa salamu ni wagombea wa nyadhifa aula katika jaramandia la MUSO. Kwao, hii ni njia kabambe ya kuwateka bakunja waja katika familia ya wapiga kura ili kuonyesha undugu walio nao na kupata uungwaji mkono. Tukumbuke undugu ni kufaana....
Baada ya kupiga kura natumai pia hali hii itaimaarishwa, nitakuwa mchache wa fadhila ikiwa zangu kongole sitawapa kwa ukengeushi huo. ‘Wangwana,waheshimiwa,ungana nami katika mchakato mzima wa kupiga msasa usemi “mgema akisifiwa tembo hulitia maji” na kuufanya kinyume kwa matendo.

Mtandaoni pia kazi inapangwa na kupangika.Mkesho umeanza mapema na ngoma inasakatwa kwa mirindimo ya kila aina.Ukweli unabadilishwa kuwa uongo na kinyume pia.Mawakala wa kisiasa wanapewa mjazo wa simu ili kuiteleza kazi hii. Kauli mbiu imesalia hakuna vya bwerere, “no mercy” “tibbim” “no symphathy votes”ndio wimbo wa kila siku.Waja hawa wana tajriba ya juu zaidi ya kucheza na maneno na kuwafanya “waheshimiwa” kujistaha na kuuona ushindi viganjani mwao. “Tunangoja tu kutawazwa uongozi,”ndio baadhi ya maneno matamu yanayomtoa nyoka pangoni....usiniulize nyoka ni nini maanake mnajua.Ukweli ni kwamba ndoto hii kwa wengine itasalia kuwa ruwaza maanake ni lazima pawe na mshindi mmoja na  hii itategemea na mikakati ya mtu binafsi.

Mtindo wa mavazi pia umebadili kwa wachache ili waonekane “waheshimiwa” bali siyo wenye miwa.Koti, tai na kaptura zilizonyooka utadhani mlingoti wa bendera  kutokana na pasi kuwa kiungo cha kila siku. Wanadai pia mavazi ni kigezo cha kuzingatiwa katika kuwachagua viongozi chuoni....hili wapiga kura mtanijibu baadaye.

Nyadhifa zilizotengewa kina dada hususan wadhifa wa naibu mwenye kiti na mkurugenzi wa masuala ya maakuli zimeshuhudia wagombea wengi.Dondoo zinadokeza kuwa wengi wao wamo katika shindano la urembo kisio ambalo wao wanalipinga.Kwa mujibu wa historia urembo umetumiwa kama kigezo cha kuwachagua kina dada haswa na timu tukufu “mafisi sacco” kumbukeni ashakum  si matusi.Hali ilivyo sasa kina yakhe watapata wakati mgumu kutokana na vipusa hawa walio watia wengi mbioni ukipenda mawindoni.Labda miungano ya kijamii kama ilivyo destrusi itakusuru nafsi ya baadhi yao ili wauone “ufalme” wa MUSO.

Kuna wale wagombea ambao kwa sasa wameyaficha makruhu na kubadili ngozi zao zilizo na hulka za chui kuwa za kikondoo. Hawa ni watu hatari ambao baadaye wataisifu methali asante ya punda ni mateke.Inahitaji makini kutambua vibaragozi wa aina hii ili baadaye tusije kuungama na kusaga meno kwa kusahau wosia “majuto ni mjukuu huja baadaye”

Kwa wasomaji wagombea wengi bado waja wamo pangoni katika windo la kukusanya mapeni ya kuwatilia chambo.Wengine wamo katika majaribio tu  na nia mbovu za kutaka kulipwa ili wawaachie wapinzani wao fursa ya kuwania viti mbalimbali.Ni jukumu la wanazuo watukufu kuwapiga msasa wagombea wote bila kujali kabila, jinsia na hata uwezo wa kiuchumi  ili kutambua ufaafu wao na kukinusuru chombo.Baadhi yao wana nia fiche isiyo na umuhimu kwa jamii kubwa ya wanazuo.

Jambi langu litalikunja siyo kwa ukosefu wa wino bali ngoma ikipigwa sana hupasuka.Tuzingatie utu katika kampeni zetu  bila kusahau ni suala la mpito tu lahaula mtu akikosa utu, kutu huingia na kumfanya mtu kuwa butu.

IT'S TIME TO TAKE CARE...

Are you tired of how people take advantage of your caring trait? Do you find yourself enslaved to anyone who is willing to have you in their life? The fear of upsetting people always steer your thoughts into the direction that let them benefit from it more than you did. That fear is what causes you to say sorry way too much often. It’s what caused you to go to college even though you didn't want to, it caused you to get a degree in something you didn't want because your parents told you to. It’s what causes you to drag out a relationship you secretly wished ended months ago. This is what causes you to stay in the job you hate and get paid the wage that you didn’t like. How exhausting is having to constantly put others before yourself and how little reward you get at the end of it?

You have heard the phrase "you teach people how to treat you" but you've ignored it so far. May be its because when you did try to stand for yourself it always seemed to have backfired as they yelled, cried, cursed your name and swear to never forgive you.This scared you right? And since you are too concerned and so caring about other people's feeling you gave up. You might have finally snapped and told others to let you be which they deserved to hear only to find yourself being labelled as too aggressive.Well dear who gives a damn?Who realy cares what  others think or say?Let me just remind you-it should not be you.

Sometimes people need to hear what they need to hear without that sweetness in your tone.This is what we call setting healthy boundaries.Try it and you will see how good it feels. Not the snapping part, but for expressing your true feeling. From that, people will start to show you more respect.They will start taking you less for granted too.

Make yourself comfortable with being with you. Get to know yourself, what makes you happy and what interest you.Be selfish.Now it's time for you to show them how selfish you can really be when taking care of yourself.Acting upon your own interest  is not being insensitive to others it's simply living your life.

Do not apologize for the change. Ever, do not go over in your head, how u should have reacted differently, how you shouldn't have said what you said and so on. Stop it! The acceptance of your peer and loved ones is a luxury and not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to make yourself proud and happy. The rest is for them to realize your worth.,

I’m not suggesting you stop caring about other people but you should first care about yourself.

Kurunzi ya Ligi ya Mabingwa

Na Yassina Terry

Jumamosi hii, kivumbi kinatarajiwa kule San Siro mwendo wa saa nne usiku, huku miamba wa Uhispania Real Madrid na Atletico Madrid wakitoana kijasho. Wengi wametabiri kuwa Atletico Madrid watalitwaa kombe hilo kutokana na itikadi ya hivi majuzi kuwa timu yoyote inayoiondoa Barcelona, hutwaa Kombe hilo la Mabingwa. Hata hivyo, Jukwaa la Michezo linaangazia kwa kina zaidi historia ya timu hizi mbili na uzito wa fainali hii hatua kwa hatua.

Timu hizi mbili zilikutana mara ya kwanza mwaka wa elfu moja mia tisa ishirini na nane katika michuano ya Copa del Rey, mechi ambayo Real Madrid waliwacharaza Atletico Madrid mabao matatu kwa nunge. Wapinzani hawa wamekutana hivi karibuni katika michuano ya La Liga mwezi February mwaka huu, mechi ambayo Real Madrid walipoteza kwa Atletico Madrid bao kwa bila.

Ushindi mkubwa zaidi kuwahi kushuhudiwa kati ya timu hizi pinzani, ulikuwa ushindi wa Atletico wa mabao matano kwa nunge dhidi ya Real Madrid msimu wa elfu moja mia tisa arobaini na saba na arobaini na nane katika michuano ya La Liga. Hata hivyo, Real Madrid walivuna ushindi kama huo wa mabao matano kwa nunge dhidi ya Atletico Madrid msimu wa elfu moja mia tisa hamsini na nane na hamsini na tisa na ule wa elfu moja mia tisa themanini na tatu na themanini na nne mechi zote zikiwa za La Liga.

Wawili hawa wamecheza jumla ya mechi mia mbili kumi na mbili, huku Real wakipata ushindi mara mia moja na saba na kutoka sare mara hamsini na moja. Atletico wamepata ushindi mara hamsini na nne. Jumla ya mabao yaliyofungwa na Real Madrid ni mia tatu hamsini na tano huku Atletico Madrid wakifunga jumla ya mabao mia mbili sabini na moja.

Timu hizi aidha, zilikutana katika fainali za ligi ya mabingwa mwaka wa elfu mbili kumi na nne kule Lisbon, mechi ambayo Real walipata ushindi wa mabao manne kwa moja baada ya muda wa mazidadi. Walipatana tena katika robo fainali za UEFA msimu uliofuata ambapo walitoka sare ya kutofungana kule Calderon na baadaye Real wakapata ushindi wa bao moja kwa bila nyumbani Santiago Bernabeu.

Wapinzani hawa watakutana tens wikendi hii katika fainali za UEFA kwa mara ya pili kule San Siro. Usikose kushuhudia kivumbi hicho.

HOAX: China denies exporting human flesh to Africa

 By Jemedari Mwanawakiume

A gory Facebook hoax, backed with photos, had it that China was marinating dead  human bodies, canning the flesh and exporting it to Africa disguised as corned beef.

The hoax was reinforced by a series of gory photos of what appeared to be human bodies dangling from hooks at a human flesh factory.
The Zambian press widely circulated the photos while making references to alleged sources from China where the factories were rumored  to be situated.
China’s ambassador to Zambia denied the allegations vehemently, claiming that the hoax was slanderous and was meant to maim the healthy relationship that China enjoyed with Zambia.

‘This is completely a malicious slandering and vilification which is absolutely unacceptable to us. We hereby express our utmost anger and the strongest condemnation over such an act.’  The ambassador said in a statement that denied the trashed the hoax.

One Facebook user shared the image with the caption:

‘Chinese people have started producing corned beef with their dead bodies and sending them to Africa. Please stay away from corned beef irrespective of brand, most especially in Africa and from Afro-Asian grocery shops.’ 

See some of the photos below:

Photo showing what looks like a human flesh at what was assumed to be a human flesh abattoir in China. Image: Dailly Mail

The minister for defence, Zambia apologized on behalf of the whole nation for the malicious misleading images. He said that the government was gpoing to conduct an investigation and give a full statement in due course.

PHOTO: See The New USIU Student Council Senate

United States International University recently elected into office a new student affairs council senate for the coming academic year.

From left: Welfare Representative - International Students MUZNA ASIF (IBA Sophomore), School of Science and Technology Representative JUDY KIMAMA (Journalism Junior), Secretary SAIFFUDIN MUSTAFA (IBA Junior), Chairman DAVID MAINA (International Relations Junior), Treasurer DAPHNE KARANI (IBA Junior), Vice Chair JAYNE NJOROGE (IBA Sophomore), School of Humanities & Social Sciences Representative SANDRA GÎDOIU (Psychology Junior), Chandaria School of Business Representative OLAOLUWA AKINYEMI (IBA Sophomore) and Welfare Representative - Social Services JANEL NELSON (International Relations Junior).

Bra-less Fashion Trend Takes Over Universities, Team Mafisi Excited

Gone are the days when seeing a woman’s nipple was once in a blue moon affair. Last year it was pantyless, this year, it’s bra-less.

The bra-less trend started at Mary Stuart hall when girls begun leaving their rooms to lectures without bras. This was common on Mondays and Fridays. It was under the guise of being busy or lazy or having washed their bras the night before.

Suddenly other girls picked up the trend. “Bras were making us uncomfortable. There is a certain freedom that comes with abandoning the bra. You really feel emancipated,”says Bridget Munezero a Mary Stuart resident.

On Fridays in night clubs, when she hugs you, her pointed b**bs will send electric shocks down your pants and your wallet will automatically open.

Next time you see girls wearing tops with veering nipples, relax, it’s the trend and you are the local one

UGANDA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY TO EXPEL STUDENTS GUILD PRESIDENT,MINISTERS FOR INSULTING THE VICE CHANCELLOR

News reaching our news desk shows that Uganda Christian University (UCU) home to the most holy university students in Uganda is likely to expel the the students guild president Mr. Nyikirize Pius from the institution for allegedly insulting the vice chancellor Rev. Dr.Ssenyonyi.

Yesterday the guild president in company of four of his cabinet ministers and Secretary general were summoned to the university disciplinary council to give reasons for students defiance at the closure of last semester,for the first time in 19 years UCU students held a demonstration over what they cited as ‘unfair adjustments’ in fees.

The angry students gathered at Agape square at the university demanding answers from the university administration over why students activity fee had been increased from shs 63000 to shs 70000.

After failing to capture the attention of the deputy vice chancellor in charge of Academic affairs,Dr.Benon Musinguzi,the group moved to the students boardroom hoping to have the matter resolved.

It was there that the students met Dr.Musinguzi and argued that the university council had made the resolution without consulting the students guild.The university council which sat on November 26th,2015 resolved that the other fees would be increased from the previous academic years from shs 667000 to shs 893,000 for the academic year 2016/2017.

Other fees include development fee(shs 430,000), medical fee(shs 70,000), students activity fee(shs 70,000), examination fee(shs 80,000), computer fee(shs 100,000), book/library fee(shs 90,000), and registration fee (shs 53,000).

On failing to agree with Dr.Musinguzi on how the resolution was made,the students demanded to meet the university vice chancellor Rev Dr. John Senyonyi.
The vice chancellor was forced to abandon an ongoing council meeting to address the students who kept heckling him,over the matter.Some students who declined to be named for fear of expulsion argued that they were unsatisfied with what was going on.He maintained that the increment in other fees shall affect only those students whose first year of admission begins in may 2016 semister implying that those students who are continuing shall not pay the increment

Are Sauti Sol Going Gospel?

Is this the effect Willy Paul had on Sauti Sol or what? Not long ago Sauti sol did a collabo with Willy Paul on the song Take it slow. This came as a shock to the society because Willy Paul is a Gospel artist. The song was a hit, of course with Sauti sol an award winning band what else can you expect?
According to Willy the song is to guide the youth to take things slow and remember God,in consideration to the fact that they are lost in drugs and swag..And the only way to make sure the message reached home he had to work with Sauti Sol who are closer and more favoured by the youth. That was what he said during an interview on Friday 15th May 2016 on citizen Tv Mjue Msanii wako segment.
Sauti Sol have a new song Kuliko Jana which is totally Gospel.Is this the effect of willy Paul on them? The band might have decided to take a different route into gospel after their success in Unconditionally bae with Ali Kiba and as always they nailed it. Or maybe they might just be thanking God for his favour apon them. Anyway they remain a perfect example to follow because even in their success they still remember God.
In as much as Willy was not in the groove awards nomination, he is not worried because to him as long as he is praising God and bringing more people closer to God he is Okay.Well,with Sauti Sol it was a success.

LETHAL AL-SHABAAB WEAPONS SEIZED ON THEIR WAY TO KENYA

Somalia National Army (SNA) has handed over to Kenya weapons it seized from al-Shabaab militants.

Mandera County Commissioner Fredrick Shisia, on Wednesday, May 11, received the weapons from Jubaland’s deputy minister for security Abdirashid Hassan Abdinoor.

“We are happy the Somalia authorities have taken the initiative of protecting Kenya by confiscating the weapons that were to cause a lot of destruction and loss of lives in these towns,” said Shisia as quoted by Daily Nation.

According to Abdinoor, the weapons were nabbed while on transit to Kenya’s border town of Mandera on the evening of Tuesday, May 10.

The weapons handed over include: Improvised Explosive Devices (IED), hand grenades, bullets, petrol bombs and phones.