Friends are Like Flowers

                Friends are Like Flowers 

By Kefa Onditi

A musician once wrote a song romanticizing friendships and analogized them to flowers and life as a garden. Like flowers in their variety make gardens beautiful, so make friendships in their richness—the lovely orchid, like a friend that compliments, bring sparkle and color to life. Roses are beautiful, but the thorns remind you to tread carefully; those are like the friends who criticize you. I have no idea what flower proliferates and is always ahead of its time, but we will always have a friend who is ahead of us.

The friends who compliment you are essential because a compliment can brighten up your day. They could comment on something as insignificant as new earrings, and suddenly, you feel a fresh gush of confidence. Suppose you did well in public speaking or a presentation, and someone makes a nice comment about your oratory skills. This gives you a boost of self-confidence and joy. Friends complimenting you always see the details, acknowledge your efforts and make you feel seen. They will be there to crown your every achievement. They will help you gain the respect of your peers because they magnificently see you.

When someone tells you that your hair, shoes, your beard, or even your house are always clean, you will always maintain a neat beard and a clean house so that they don't find you with a dirty one and lose that respect for you. It is human nature to desire affirmation and to feel seen. Your mental health needs to stay with people who find a way to complement you.

Every garden needs a rose. In this context, a rose alludes to the ones who criticize you. There are two sides to criticism; you must be wise to tap into constructive crisis. Simple questions about “why do you always frequently wear that shirt? Why doesn't your house have a Tv? Why are your window curtains transparent? Why are your children always walking with runny noses?

Such questions make you realize the small things you are doing in the wrong way.  These questions sometimes bring out the bad personality traits that you have. Criticism about the company you keep can be in the form of “Why do you like walking with that drunkard? “Why do you always laugh loudly everywhere? “The bad habits you possess are what you should read behind that statement.

 These people might look like your enemies, don’t like you for who you are, or don't appreciate what you do. But that is not always the case. You will discover that you are not perfect by listening to these people. You become better when you listen to them, fix yourself, and work on those small mistakes. These people might even compliment you after you have improved on what they told you, and you be happy and proud of yourself. You will always be on your toes to keep those compliments.

The ones ahead of you. These people will constantly challenge you and inspire you to want more from yourself. This is because you will be challenged to be like them and bask in their achievements; they will share some of their aspirations and dreams with you. You may see that yours are too small; thus, you will begin to dream big, set high standards, and have a bigger vision of your life. Then as the hardworking person, you are, you will work to achieve bigger. So always ensure that those around you are way above you, and you will use them to guide you and give advice from experience. Some may even care enough to offer favors once they see your desire to improve. These are people with better financial status, better relationships with their families, and better social qualities like leadership and spirituality.

You are whom you keep around are whom you keep around you. One biblical allusion to friendship is in Amos 3:3; two cannot walk together unless they agree. It would be best if you kept essential people around you. Your success depends on your company and habits as on what you do every day. You will unleash your most significant potential if you identify.

The Drinking Monster

                                                    The Drinking Monster 

By Kefa Onditi

Last semester when we got our projects, I researched the students' business ideas. Most of my respondents agreed that liquor stores are the best to invest in.  When I cast the net wider, I realized that the idea of selling alcohol was in the societies we live. The youth are just a product of their environments. There is an insatiable demand for alcohol. The population is addicted, and the copious business people are well aware. The reasons many choose this poison are varied.

In the past, elders set a drink in their midst when they needed to deliberate on heavy matters of their people. Sharing a drink was a sign of friendship, hospitality, and invitation. However, times have changed. Many young people drink alcohol out of pleasure and as a way to kill their weekends. There can be no party, no dancing, and merry-making without alcohol involved. Some drink to gain confidence and courage. If someone wants to approach a girl and is somehow anxious, alcohol is always a proven remedy. Public speaking is never accessible for some people unless accompanied by shots gulped down hurriedly. It’s always as though drinking summons courage from the pits of one’s liver.

We have heard tales of men battering their wives after drinking spree or a bitter wife maiming a husband for drinking away the family fortune.  Those that have walked the alcoholism path find it hard to endure a day sober. People find it more challenging to communicate and articulate their feelings after throwing away their sobriety. How can a man keep a family and a relationship with which he does not connect? How do you tell a spouse you love them when your drinking is the reason why they languish in abject poverty? How does a father ask his sons to be upright when he cannot stand?

It is no surprise that many justify drinking as an escape from their daily misery. They always say alcohol drowns their sorrow and makes them float in ecstasy. For a moment, their problems are not their own, which becomes the gratifications sought. Some drink because they have been caught by other people drinking. This type can easily be swayed because they do not have a particular reason rather than the bandwagon of peer pressure.

Drinking has consequences in the short term and long term. While it is true that the gratification sought is to relax, the price to pay comes from empty pockets and addiction. Alcohol is expensive and continuous consumption is bound to have financial implications. People have spent months in therapy and rehabilitation for something that started as one shot for the pain …

Forbidden Lust

 Forbidden Lust

BY BUNGEI BRENDA

There was no more music to play when I saw him, only beautiful memories.

Often getting lost in my own thoughts and blaming it on dejavu

I want you, you know

 

I want to stare at those shy eyes that shine like stardust, like sprinkles,

Like little sprinkles of shinny feelings, sprinkled from the sky

Those lips that promises absolute desire

I want your hands on mine as we walk down the stairs

I want to show case you to the world

So, here’s to the shy boy that sits behind me in class

To that glorious boy that melts my heart, with no effort

I thought you should know, I want you

In every sensual way

 

This goes to the boy that makes me all musshy and warm on the inside,

He makes me all smiley like a stupid huge emoji

He makes me want to drop everything and show him the world

They say age is just a number but then it is not the age that really matters

It’s what you feel on the inside

 

Thoughts of you awaken these lustful desires

That when tapped you can never get enough

Those desires that you can’t stop no matter how hard you try

He gives me something intense than weak knees and mere goosebumps

The fluttering butterflies he gives, gives a worthy thrill

He makes me feel alive as though I have been missing out

 

I want you with a fervor that shakes my soul

I want you as the moon rises and as the sun sets

I want you with the magnolias glow and the rose’s riots

I wanna wake up to moanings of entangled sheets laced with poetry

Playing your skin tone like notes of an acoustic guitar

Bringing you closer to pleasure, tasting of cherry blossoms

Make you closer to heaven on my knees

 

There are no happy endings

However my lust rather love would make cities burn

With my glimpse of affection, I could shatter hearts

But you are on the other side, you are not mine

So at least let me get a taste of those charred lips

Let me taste of that uttermost devotion

That would make my body ache with desire.       

Crazy Campus Course mates

 

Crazy Campus Coursemates

By Mercy Jelagat

 Like any other learning institution, the campus environment is a crazy one. There are phrases such as ‘’kuinama’’, which means not being able to have supper or lunch due to financial issues. This is forgotten almost immediately when a funny comrade crosses the innocent mind, as asserted here.

Latecomer

I think you should know what I am talking about. These people tend to appear past 20 minutes before the class begins. They sneak into class twerking with their little bubble butts in miniskirts to attract every eye. You may think they walk from a long distance but later find out they are from the university residence. They come in late consistently the whole semester. These terrible latecomers have rarely been punctual to class, not even on campus before the early bird sings its melodious song.

Resurrected Ones

These are the kind of human beings that appear during the final exams, sit in cats, and on presentation days only. You may wonder what stuff is keeping them off the campus environment because they are rare to be found, just like the sunflower in the desert. It is with no big surprise that you happen to see them in every class attendance list, yet they don't exist in any of the classes. Most of them put on dark heavy jackets during their final exams carrying sources of light just in case of blackouts in the exam room.

Party Fanatics

Every day is a weekend for them as long as there is a party.  They rarely attend morning classes. Why? Perhaps they suffer from the previous night’s hangovers. They spend much of their time and money partying and impressing their friends. The majority are drug abusers. Of course, what is a party without stiff drinks?

Drama Queens

The majority are female students. They are talented in formulating drama without being the focal point of the circumstance. They can even burst a thunder of laughter in class and pretend nothing has happened. They know all the gossip, including the lecturer's side chicks and main chicks and their family issues. They are usually the backbenchers.

Lecturer's Pet

They are so irritating to the whole class. You find them sitting in front seats dressed half-naked, maybe seducing the lecturer. They laugh loudly at the lecturer's jokes and ask rhetorical questions. Who does that? They never miss a chance to respond to any right or wrong question. They are seen with the lecture after class; who knows what they talk about?

Hand raiser

No class ends without their hands being raised. Of course, they are brilliant, but sometimes, they are annoying. When questions are asked, you do not need to rotate your neck to look around, as you already know precisely whose voice is.

Loner

They are those who do not really hang around with other students and actively stay away from social interactions. They neither chat with anyone after class nor walk in with anyone. They rather talk to themselves. You even find it difficult to say hi to them because they may blue-tick you alive.

Huggers

These people are the single souls on the campus. We are tired of their impromptu hugs. Imagine, after every daily lecture, you find them hugging almost three – a quarter of the class. If she is a lady, she hugs nearly every man and vice versa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Campus Leadership

 CAMPUS LEADERSHIP.

                                                  

By Felix Ouko                                               

Leadership is about making others better due to our presence and ensuring that impact lasts in our absence. As leaders, we're only sometimes going to do things right. We're going to make mistakes. We're even going to make decisions that lead to failures. We need to learn from those mistakes and continue to take risks.

Comrades, I am writing these lines on the evening of the 9th. I am averse to clannish leadership and unapologetically disinclined to partisan politics. Over the years, clan and party politics have led to the installation of mediocre and unscrupulous awful elements as leaders. No society develops in the hands of such characters.

With all my might, I urge comrades to realize that everything hangs by a thread. We are confronted by problems that are not to be solved by conferences or congress but exclusively by people, by the masses, and by the struggles of armed people. The situation is critical in the extreme. It is now clear that delaying the uprising would be fatal. Students’ silence doesn't mean they are enjoying the kind of campus leadership we have, but they are crying from inside.

The cost of university tuition fees is rising at an alarming rate every academic year without students concerned. This is coupled with other costs of housing and meals. Comrades are starving in the hostels in the name of 'KUINAMA,’ missing meals even for three consecutive days, leading to lack of concentration and, eventually, missing lectures. Contemporarily, students are dropping out of university since they have a recipe for unmanageable debts. This situation makes our students vulnerable to physical and mental health problems like depression and stress.

There is a substantial basis for solidarity actions. Many students already work alongside their studies and face exploitative conditions and low pay. They are hit massively by the surge in the cost of living, exacerbated by extortionate tuition fees and university rent costs. The rising state of the economy harms their education.

Who must take power? This is not important at present. We need our leaders to stand for comrades. We cannot afford to lose a whole to depression. We need a healthy generation. Save our generation.

Overcoming Depression

OVERCOMING DEPRESSION

 By Susan Akuku Simolo

Campus life is not always a walk in the park. Many obstacles come along the way, and many challenges one faces. Some give up, not knowing they were so close to accomplishing their dreams. These day-to-day stressors, when not tackled, lead comrades into the spiral of depression.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest, and constant emptiness. This, of course, affects the daily activities of the individual or person. It has been that comrades who face the pressure to balance academics, social life, co-curriculum activities, relationship issues, finances, few job spaces after graduation and parents’ expectations. All these form a dangerous recipe for depression among university students.

Some common symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness or worthlessness, difficulties with concentration, memory or decision-making, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, restlessness, weight loss, and other physical symptoms like headaches and muscle aches. This is, according to the research that has been done over time. The symptoms are not always the same but vary from person to person.

Depression has become a disease slowly eating away the youth, especially the ongoing university students. Some debate that it may be due to the pressure of wanting to achieve things quickly without having worked for them. The internet is left behind when it comes to such a sensitive topic like this. There is no definite solution to treat the symptoms of depression. It takes time and patience to determine the best mental health treatment for depression.

 There is a lot of stereotype and stigma that revolves around it. Some in society do not view it as a disease but a weakness, especially among the male gender. Depression isn't a proper illness; people who experience depression are lazy and mentally weak. Depression is a result of having a tough time are some of the stereotypes revolving around the topic.

There are several unhealthy and risky alternatives. The students opt to take them to relieve themselves from their depressed state. Some decide to start abusing drugs by taking alcohol or smoking marijuana. Others engage in unsafe sex. Lastly, those consumed by thoughts of suicide decide to take their lives. These measures end up messing up and hurting them even more.

Some recommended measures while going through depression include seeking help from the guidance and counselling department. Of course, every institution has to attend to such matters. Everyone is encouraged not to die in silence but to open up to those they trust, so they offload whatever heaviness they have on their chest.

Other ways include having adequate sleep, improving diet, not taking drugs, engaging in activities such as sports also strengthening connections with family and friends. Do not lose someone through depression. Let’s all be our brothers and sisters, keeper

The ripple Effects of Childhood Trauma

 

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

By Dravil Duke 

Lately, I have been thinking about how our childhood upbringing affects adulthood and what they call trauma. Knowledge and education have taught us to discern what is wrong and correct in all contexts.

Chanced on a video of the Nyeri woman abusing and criticizing her husband in front of a kid, I wondered what this did to the child. Of course, if the child is cognizant and has a healthy long-term memory, the image of parents fighting or the father beating the mother will never leave her.

Insults. Poverty. Abuse. Incest. Rape. Neglect. It can also contribute to trauma.

According to Mary Trump’s book on her famous uncle, Trump became a pathological narcissist because he was ignored as a child and his father, Fred, believed in winning at all costs. And look what happened due to that neglect—a man constantly seeking favour.

As children, most of us went through a lot.

People used to erase such memories and move on with their lives. However, with modern psychology becoming all too available, most people cannot overcome their childhood demons.

It now manifests itself in a variety of ways. Someone who grew up in poverty may have a horrible spouse because they make money their only goal in life. Someone mistreated (incest, rape, etc.) find it difficult to trust again, and every minor trigger sets them off. Some people handle it better than others.

However, the majority of people are afraid. Out here, people are terrified of their shadows. Moreover, we act so foolishly to hide our fears that it worries me.

In his 21 Lessons for the Twenty-First Century, Yuval Noah presents a compelling argument for secularity as an antidote to religion's constraints. He extols the virtues of secularism in its pursuit of compassion, freedom, and equality. But he stops short of claiming that humans may be scientifically manipulated or designed to develop compassion, empathy, and other traits.

It's a hollow argument because humans are complicated, and no amount of science or psychology can explain how unreasonable we are. It's similar to the now-debunked idea that humans are rational buyers. Have you ever seen where men start buying mizingas?

For example, why do people, especially educated ones, squabble in front of their children? Or do harmful things to other people, even those they love, knowing full well the consequences? Why do we continually crave vengeance, even when we know it will harm us more? Why do we live to prove a point, even if it is meaningless? Why is there so much pettiness in relationships and even friendships?

Is it possible to get over one's pride? To control our ego? Is it feasible to live down to the calling of adulthood and its responsibilities?

And, more crucially, given our brokenness, can we spare our children unneeded turmoil and give them a fair chance in life?

 

Dravilduke88@gmail. com

Mitigate stress to avoid mental health problems

 

Mitigate stress to avoid mental health problems

By Jackson Nyakoe  

 

There is an alarming rate of reported and unreported cases of suicide as an outturn of stress and depression. It is expeditiously escalating into a pandemic, and urgent action should be implemented to curb the menace.

People are struggling and aching in silence. They don't want to speak up, and some can't afford the therapy. People are acting normal and okay but are dying on the inside.

We are living in a society full of people with selfish mindsets. People do not want to check up on their neighbours and friends.

On the other side, the victims don’t want to share what they are going through, even with the family members or buddies who accommodate their inner circle. The holes keep enlarging until they are powerless to get out of it.

Shockingly, both the employed and unemployed are victims of this. The unemployed people’s expectations are always high once they land a job. Fewer salaries, pressure from bosses, overworking, and stagnation in junior positions for a long time are the primary triggers of depression and mental illness.

The crisis of depression is more threatening than an economic crisis. People can’t report to work on time, or they don’t know entirely because of mental disorders. This disease highly flies youths aged between 20 to 35 years.

Unemployment, tough life brought up by economic factors, and family matters, especially when a man stalls to care for his family because of financial constraints and toxic relationships, are the significant drivers of depression.

This peril is now like a phase, but most people fail to fight it. After trying more than two solutions, and they don’t help, many give up. Others start drinking alcohol and even forget to eat healthier without considering that their immunity is weakening. In the long run, these issues develop into suicidal thoughts.

The Ministry of Health should implement the Kenya mental health action as fast as possible to rescue the future of this nation. We open up to our close friends as a mechanism for finding a solution, but that's how they get topics to discuss with their allies.

The intensity of depression for someone who has a career or is employed is a bit elevated compared to unemployed fellas. The higher your career is, the few real friends you have. Your trust levels are low, and you are overconfident in almost everything. Now with all this in play, one major setback in life will get you back to default quickly.

Fortunately, there is still hope. You can tickle depression by hitting the gym and trying weightlifting once you feel down. You can make yourself busy. Loneliness should not be encouraged at all at this time. Having friends to talk to will play a salient role in battling the disease.

With no robust support system from relevant departments, depression is kicking in and draining our future generation.

People don’t fake being depressed; they fake being okay. Visiting a therapist for counselling should be one of the immediate and best remedies. Most people can’t afford that therapy because it’s expensive.

This should not worry you. You could go online and read articles about depression, different states of depression, causes, s treatments and herbal remedies.

Do you have hobbies? If not, find something that interests you and keep at it. Watch different films, play video games, or you can also ride a bicycle, and these exercises can offer you relief from depression. Let us be our brother’s keeper by regularly checking our friends’ whereabouts.

Mental illness is scary, but it’s treatable.

By Jackson Nyakoe (journalism and communication student Moi university) Twitter  @Jacksonnyakoe

Uproar as Education CS Suggests Government Plan to Stop Funding Universities

 

Uproar as Education CS Suggests Government  Plan to Stop Funding Universities 

By Maloba Tisa

"Government to stop funding public universities,” says the CS  Machogu. He said that the government is currently experiencing financial pressure that later calls for alternative ways to source income for universities. Therefore, universities must venture into research, innovation and technology to generate income. He said this at a CBC public hearing in Nanyuki on November 4, 2022.

What does it mean to fund a public university? Higher education in Kenya dates from 1956 when Nairobi Royal Technical College was founded, an institution that later became the first Kenyan university - The University of Nairobi.

The government started funding universities to support various programmes essential for the qualification of its professionals as a state. This was because; almost all the courses are so expensive for the learners to pay from their own pockets.

Without government intervention, a bachelor's degree in clinical medicine can cost a student a Differentiated Unit Cost (DCU) of Ksh.720 000 per year. Some causes in essential humanities, social sciences, and economic geography must pay a DUC of Ksh.144 000 per year.

Despite all this support, most students will still seek support from HELB loans, bursaries and scholarships to cater to the remaining percentage they must pay. Sadly, all these approaches only sometimes fill the gap; thus, some students have petty fee arrears of up to Ksh.5000.

Getting rid of this government funding for the universities will, therefore, in no time, make it impossible for some needy students to join campus and accomplish their various dreams. The continuing students might drop out of school due to this impending pandemic.

The CS has suggested innovation, research and technology venturing to generate income. For innovation of all forms, it takes time. It is an investment with long-term returns. Research, on the other hand, costs people time and resources. Moreover, for research to become useful, more capital is needed to cater to all these. Whenever technology is mentioned, its improvement brings more benefits, but before that, one must accept to incur costs that most universities can't still afford.

Additionally, most universities already have pending debt they need to pay immediately. How will they be able to pay these debts and at the same time do innovation, research and improve technologies, something they are already trying but straining?

Currently, with a cohort of 145,145 students, the country needs 32.7M, while the available is 12.6M. The incoming cohort will be larger than the existing one by 52,195 students. Regardless of the CS's current urge, the government will need more funds to sustain university learning. This will reduce the number of students joining campus. Moreover, dropout cases will never be news again.

With his claim of being misquoted, the talk continues since he touched on a sensitive part that affects the higher education sector. He then said that the government would continue to fund public universities. He further added that universities have to continue with research avenues that would generate extra income. He said this at the groundbreaking ceremony at the Kiambu Institute of Science and Technology.

Rhetorically, we are left to wonder what this research would do for us when we already have them, but they are not sound. Are we left with the opinion that the country cannot generate more income on itself to help fund its various institutions rather than transferring burdens to their subjects?