This Mess called love

By Jay

This mess we call love,

My heart is stormy, my soul is smudged.

It doesn't matter what I feel,

Hurricanes, sunshine, rainbows, and moonbeams,

Not to mention the storms and waves.

I'm not okay, though I say I'm fine.

What I want is an enigma,

Soap bubbles, and at least some star twinkles.

But now I'm all alone,

Willing to fight for love, I always had been.

But before I signed up for the war,

I needed to make sure I was fighting for a warrior, not a deserter.

It takes a lifetime to love,

And no time at all to leave.

Just like the tired sunsets and the tired people,

I wish it had meant as little to me as it did to you.

It seems like a fantasy to me,

The words seemed more beautiful in my head.

It's like I'm homesick for a place that doesn't exist.

I was fantasizing about a love that was one-sided,

And only felt by me, I created my own heartbreak.

I'm still trapped with the idea of "us."

I need to remind myself that maybe

My version of "us" is different from yours.

It's not your fault; actually, I expected too much.

Perhaps I wanted you to fight for me,

But I was the ocean, and you wanted rivers.

I was the moon, and you chased the stars.

The way I would have fought for you.

 

This mess we call love

Is so messy I can’t tidy it up

Thank you for the love, thank you for the joy,

But I don't want to fall in love again.