Grief ; You are not alone

 

GRIEF; YOU ARE NOT ALONE

By Ajuma Millicent

I'm just going to start by saying that grief is complicated for everyone. Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or a particular way of life, we all go through loss at least once. At this point, grieving has become a part of life or a rite of passage.

Navigating loss is different for different people. Some of us love to distract ourselves with loads of work. Some of us would prefer to hang out with friends and talk. Some people choose to isolate themselves and deal with the loss solo. There is no right way to deal with loss because, most of the time, we could have stopped the loss if we could.

According to literally every article I have read on grief on the internet, grief has five stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each step comes with its highs and lows. It is like one day, you are happy, and life makes sense; the next, you have no idea why you had to endure so much pain. Grieving a loss doesn't happen in a day, nor does it happen in a straight line. It is a rollercoaster of emotions, a mix of highly dark days and some good ones. Honestly, even when you reach the acceptance stage, there is no guarantee that there won't be flashbacks of memories that trigger pain.

If you are dealing with a loss, I am rooting for you. I hope you get on the other side with your physical and mental health still intact. I hope you have the courage to feel everything that comes with this challenging time. I hope you give yourself the grace to know that you deserve a painless life, and I hope things get lighter for you. The late Queen Elizabeth II said grief is the price we pay for love, so I hope you know that the pain you feel shows that you gave love and gave it freely. I hope you don’t lose sight of that. Most importantly, I hope you remember that you are not alone.

If you know someone close to you is dealing with a loss, try and extend grace to them. Listen to them vent and listen without judgment or the pressure to offer solutions. Offer to do some of their tasks for them. Respect their way of grieving. Every small action counts.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. Please seek professional help, especially in case of depression.