Student politics: How to get ahead in student politics

The world of student politics is not for the faint hearted. It is vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Many believe university politics can offer a route to that small house in a hill-state house.

It is better, instead, to view it as a path to an impressive CV. To lead is a noble thing, and student politics will teach you vital life skills.

If you are still determined to climb the greasy pole of student politics, here are a few handy pointers:

Make yourself known

You will need to be a big name on campus. Good politicians, real and student alike, are well-liked – or at least cultivate an aura of likeability. Personal friendship is the backbone of any student campaign.

Believe in what you’re selling...

Do not blatantly prostitute yourself out – make sure you actually like what you are standing for, and enjoy meeting the people you’re trying to win over. If you fake it, they’ll hate it.

... but leave your ideals at home

That said, you’ve got to be in it to win it. You won’t gain election armed only with well-meaning ideals – know your audience, know the various political tribes, and find the route of least resistance to bring the necessary majority to a point of common agreement. Sounds cynical, but it works.

Harness the machine

Elections at any level require building a dedicated team. Remember, you will be up against people who’ve planned out their university politics career from matriculation to graduation. It doesn’t hurt to butter up the student newspaper editors either.

Keep your hands clean

Don’t get dirty – allow others to do so. Mudslinging and shadowy tactics are inevitable, but as the candidate you have the final say on how dirty your side becomes. In our time at campus there were cases of industrial sealant being used to block an opponent’s door, a candidate ringing up their opponent’s mobile phone company claiming their phone had been stolen, and instances of bugging the opposition’s meetings. Sadly on one such occasion the party being spied upon discovered the device, and found upon it recordings of the would-be spy’s own meetings. Best just to keep your hands clean.