By Steve Adoh
In every lady's inbox,there is a man seriously wasting his time.
"Hey cutie?" ; blue ticks.
" Sasa msupa?" ; blue ticks.
"Wow...gorgeous dp"...blue ticks.
" Hey sweet pie? Do you even see my texts?"...blue ticks.
Men,please, dont tell me you are that dumb! Where on earth do you get the energy to keep on texting after a series of blue ticks? By the way, I know when you are texting me it does not mean that you want to woo me,seduce me or even appreciate how cool I looked in my flowery dress today.Come on! This is 21st Century,and I know that you are man enough to ask me out on a date,or even walk up to me confidently and tell me your sweet nothings. So its my choice to see whether you are a company i can tolerate or a wimp I would gladly scream good riddance when we part ways. If I am wrong please just tell me,real men do not seduce through text messages,especially on your first move: first impression creates a lasting impression,so I heard.
Hey! Before I veer offtrack,let me explain to you why I blueshtick you,always. The last time I gave you a couple of my precious time, bro,you bored me to death. I was anxiously waiting to hear some good vibes from you but Oh My! What a disappointment you turned out to be. To make matters worse you picked my number from our Whatsapp grou,then being the clown that you are you continuosly forward to me the funny messages and Robert Mugabe quotes that I see in our whatsapp group,which coincidentally we share! Boy please! I hate bad vibes that follow after I respond to your incessant "Hey's". Next time you text a new Chiquita, try to create a first impression. Its not that I play hard to get,its not that I am good at ignoring cute guys like you,nope! Ladies love funny men. First break that barrier,make us familiar to you. Catch our attention. Show some effort in our first conversations, you do not necessarily have to be funny,but be smooth and do not act like you only text because their is free WiFi hotspots in school. If a lady gives you her number,man, that's a plus. You won't have to explain where you got her number. Make a call,even its just saying "hi I thought I should remind you am that super irresistible guy you gave your number today!" Confidence,who tells you you are irresistible? No one, but at least you are confident.
There is this crazy package of men who after two -three " blue ticks" hurl insults at us. Honestly, why don't you keep your ego to yourself and wait for the day that I will text you so that you also enjoy the privilege of ignoring my texts? One even dared me to block him instead of ignoring him. I felt sorry for him because he is a guy met once and I expected much from him but sadly he did not match up to my expectations.
Men, impression matters a lot. If you are that kind of guy who cannot keep a conversation going for even 20 minutes, one who has never dared say hello face to face to a lady,has never the pick up line of "Hey cutie...I got your number from our whatsapp group", the kind of boy...sorry man who say we are proud yet we have nothing to show for it; that's after we have successfully ignored your bad vibes and you have painfully failed to catch our attention, please, coil your tail, clamp yourself at a corner in your room and do something useful with your time like playing Temple run. Let real men,with good vibes and who know what exactly to say after "Hi" to hit our in boxes. Please.
